Almost Unopenable
by KatPeeta23
Summary: "I'm like, like a book. I'm just like a book that is cemented shut, Peeta. I can't be opened." I look down at my hands. "Well..." he says, and I can hear confidence in his voice. "Then I'm going to have to get a chisel." Katniss is stubborn, but Peeta is always ready for a new adventure.
1. Chapter 1

I brush a sweaty strand of hair out of my eyes with the back of my sweaty hand and pick up another box. Prim's the angriest about our situation.

Since Ethan left, Mom's money has been scarce, which forced us to move from our huge penthouse in New York City to a two bedroom townhouse in Malibu.

There are two bedrooms, with three girls. My mother, who is young, only thirty seven, and my sister, who is fourteen years old, and myself, seventeen years old.

She carelessly tosses a box labeled fragile on the floor and struts out the front door.

It's August and school is starting up soon, and the heat is suffocating outside. I think for a moment about the fact that I am wearing a sports bra.

Malibu is in a drought and it is currently a hundred degrees outside. In New York City, it is normally seventy degrees in the summer.

And I am literally dripping sweat.

I lean over, my hands sliding off my knees. "It's so hot!" I groan, pulling my t-shirt off and leaving myself in a pair of jean shorts and a tank top.

I take my already wet shirt and dry and dry up some of the perspiration all over my body.

I stomp out of the house to the moving van. I hear the clicking of a longboard or a skateboard on the sidewalk and the sound if flip flops slapping against the pavement as a group of three people, one boy, two girls, come rushing past and into the house next door.

I grab another box and trudge towards the house.

I'm not talkative and I don't open up easily. I've had two boyfriends. The first one was Gale, he got pissed because I told him I didn't want sex, and he left me and the next day I caught him making out with Madge Undersee.

Then, after I let my walls down for Cato, he too, got pissed because I didn't want sex, and he left. I caught him grinding against some chick named Glimmer the next day.

Then, the one person aside from my mother and sister that I truly trusted had left. He got angry, my father did, and he left.

I haven't seen him in a year.

Mom lost her job at the hospital because Prim and I kept getting sick during winter and she took too many days off.

We became broke and I heard her crying in her room when she had to dip into my college fund.

So, my trust for everyone but my mother and little sister is nonexistent; because all males are heartless. All males fight. All males only want sex.

I so not trust people. Everyone has loud mouths.

Prim helps me bring in the couch and then I go outside to get another box, and when I hop out if the truck, I see the same people that were just running past are standing at the end if my driveway, with another boy in a muscle shirt and white shorts.

Probably some gang.

"Well damn," the boy that was there first says. He has bronze hair and green eyes. I scowl.

"What?"

"You are sexy." He comments.

I can't fight the look of disgust that crosses my features.

"Not interested." I walk inside and out the box down, and when I come back, they're still there. "Don't you guys have somewhere to be, other than my driveway?" I ask.

"What's your name?" the second boy, the one in the white shorts asks. He has unruly blonde hair and blue eyes, mixed with the color of the sky, and the ocean.

I scoff. "As if I would tell you," I place my hands on my hips.

The white shorts boy scratches the back of his neck. "Okay, well...bye..." He trails off, because three is not proper ending to the sentence without my name, and honestly, I feel like a bitch.

"Katniss," I blurt just as they're turning around to walk away. "My name is Katniss."

The two boys and one of the girls smile.

The girl that smiles, she has black hair that falls to the middle of her back and she is tiny.

I'm tiny, too. I'm seventeen years old and weight a hundred and five pounds, and I'm five five.

I'm underweight for my age, but the thing is, I'm not unhealthy. My metabolism gets rid of everything I eat before it's even hit my stomach. I'm very small because of it.

"Well, Katniss." The blond says. "I'm Peeta."

"I'm Finnick." The other guy says.

"I'm Annie." The girl that smiled says. I nod, not bothered and not caring that the other girl doesn't even look at me.

I grab another box. "Cool."

Prim comes walking back outside when I get back in the truck.

"Hi!" She says. I look at her.

"Prim, why are you all wet? And why do you smell like...fish?"

"I jumped in the lake. You know the one in the back?"

I wrinkle my nose. "You mean the green lake? The one that looks like a forest moved into it?"

"Yes." She says.

"Well go and take a shower, little duck."

She wrinkles her nose. "Katniss, stop calling me that." She whispers.

I pick up another box. "Go take a shower. You're not doing me or anyone else in the United States a favor by smelling like dead fish."

She stomps towards the house. "And take your shoes off!" I walk after her. "If mom sees you tracking up mud in her house she'll whip your damn ass!"

I'm used to being the mother to my little sister. It's not that Mom doesn't care, because she does, it's just that she's at work all the time and Prim's got nobody but me.

She feels terrible, of course.

She told me that since I am a teenager, when I want to go do teenage things, I am to dump Prim at my Uncle Haymitch's house.

I haven't seen him since I was twelve.

He's an alcoholic, as far as I know. His wife died and took his took and put her up for adoption.

I never met the kid, but I know she was put up for adoption. He wasn't too happy and he drank all the time.

"Bye Katniss." Annie says. Then they walk away.

Thank god.

I grab the last box, slam the door to the moving truck and trek inside. Mom is gathering her purse. "I'm going grocery shopping. Later, you're coming with me to renew your license."

She kisses my cheek and looks around for Prim. "She went and jumped in the shower." I apprise her.

"Oh. Okay." She walks out the door. I begin separating the boxes to their appropriate room, leaving the miscellaneous.

I push the last box to Mom's pile and yawn. We've been driving for a week or two and I'm tired, add that to the heat.

I blast the air conditioner and rush a bead of sweat off of my forehead. Prim comes downstairs. "Our room is too small."

Prim and I, we are complete polar opposites. She hangs with a huge group of people, she is perfect in the looks, she's chatty and everyone likes her, she gets whatever she wants because she's the baby, and everyone loves her. Her music is loud and crazy and she plays it a lot.

Me, I'm not. I'm quiet and I like to keep to myself. I had one friend, actually…well, kind of. Megan wasn't really my friend. We sat together at lunch and read books. We didn't talk, but we had each other's backs. I don't have any admirers and everyone that does like me thinks I'm perfect because I'm skinny. I write my feelings in a notebook and I write stories. I listen to soft music and I like to be alone to keep to myself.

But everyone thinks I'm depressed, but I'm actually happy in my life.

I like sweatshirts because they're comfortable. "Oh, it can't be that bad." I insist.

She groans loudly. "Come look." I sigh and follow my bitter sister up the stairs.

Honestly, it could be worse. I lean against the doorframe and cross my arms.

It's a pretty big room and we have our own bathroom, but she continues to moan and groan about how she can't do what she _pleases_ in her own room, and how she can't change her clothes without feeling _uncomfortable_ in her room.

How she can't listen to music or have sleepovers and so on.

I sigh. "Well, you're just going to have to deal."

To be honestones, I don't want to share a room with her. I do love her, but she is too immature and she annoys the shit out of me, and in my head, when I'm annoyed, I call her the '_Little Shit_'.

But, she's _my_ '_Little Shit' _so I tough it out.

I wander around until I find a door in the laundry room. Frowning, I open it and see a staircase. It leads down into a basement, which is completely bare, but luckily, it's finished, just the walls aren't painted. The floor is wood. I look around and eye the small window that lets in the small amount of sunlight that comes in.

I her Prim complaining on the phone to one of her many friends about how she has to share a room with, and I quote 'her bitchy older, depressed sister'

Now this, this is much better than sharing a room with _Little Bitch_.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and slam the door to the basement, walking all the way down. There's a closet in the corner, and when I rip it open, I see it's a supply closet, and I could easily turn this into a closet for my clothing.

I call my Mom.

"Hi honey." She says.

"Mom?" I ask.

"Yes?"

"Do you think I could um…make the basement my room?" I ask.

She's silent for a while. "Katniss…" she doesn't want me to. "You don't really want to do that."

"No mom, I do. Prim is on the phone with one of her friends and complaining about, and I quote 'sharing a room with her bitchy and depressed sister.'"

She's quiet. "Your fourteen year old sister said the word _bitchy_?" she asks.

"Yes." I say. "Please? It's nice down here."

"Is that what you want, Katniss?" she asks.

"Yes Mom."

She sighs. "Alright, fine, you may have the basement. Now I have to go, some cop is staring at me for driving with my cell phone."

"Right, sorry, bye, I love you."

"I love you too, honey."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm lying on my bed downstairs with my feet up against the wall. I have my glasses on, with short spandex black shorts and a white tank top. My hair is in a messy, loose bun. Prim couldn't have been happier when I told her I'm taking the basement. My head is hanging off of my bed and I'm reading my book. I hear the doorbell ring from upstairs, but I don't move, because Mom is home and I know she's going to get the door.

Sure enough, I hear say call, "I've got it!" and she her rushing footsteps. The door to the laundry room is right by the front door, and since my bedroom door is in the laundry room, I can hear everything that happens upstairs. Boxes are piled high in my bedroom, but I'm too tired to unpack anything tonight. After taking a shower, I've cooled off and stopped sweating. The sun has gone down, and Mom hasn't started dinner yet. I got my California license, just in case.

It's probably just some neighbor welcoming us to the house, nothing that really concerns me unless my mother calls me upstairs, which she doesn't.

I flip the page on my book. I'm reading The Fault in Our Stars. I hear my bedroom door creak, but I don't look over my shoulder, because if I do, I'll just see the bottom of a staircase, which will appear empty to me. I hear two sets of footsteps on the stairs, and then another one.

Three people?

I dog ear my page and fling my legs over my head, rolling off the bed and onto my feet.

"Sweetheart," Haymitch nods at me. He hugs me, and then holds me at arms length. "You look different." He notes. Then he smirks. "Finally hit puberty!" He throws his arm around my shoulder and turns to my mother and Prim. "We thought she never would!"

I glare at him and he laughs and lets me go. "Still drinking, Haymitch?"

"Not as bad as I used to." He says. He looks around. "It looks like shit. This is a shit bedroom."

"It's my shit bedroom." I cross my arms.

"Right," He laughs. "I want to show you guys something." He says. "Let's go. Oh, and put some shoes on."

I put on flip flops and follow him upstairs. Mom and Prim put their sandals on and then we head out. "I was going to come by tomorrow but school starts the day after and it's Saturday, so I figured it'd be best to come by today."

He places something cold in my hand that I can't quiet see because it's dark. Mom flips the porch light on. "Keys?" I ask.

I hear a soft clicking and laughter in the distance, and then those people from earlier, Peeta, Finnick and Annie come down the street. Peeta is on the longboard instead of Finnick, and Annie is on Finnick's back. The other girl is not with them.

I roll my eyes at their immaturity.

"Yeah, keys." He points into the driveway here a red Saturn SL2 sits.

He got me a car.

"No." I hand him the keys and he hands them back, and then I hand them back again and he hands them back again. And we keep going and going and going. "I don't want it."

"You have no choice!" He says. "In New York, you walked everywhere, even at night! You can't do that here. I'm not going to let you. Your mother will be at work and you and Prim need some form of transportation! You have your license! Just take the car."

"I don't know..." I bite my lip.

"It's paid off already, and if it's that much of a problem, I'll just pay for gas. How are you supposed to be a rebellious teenager like I know you would be if you don't have a car?"

I'm kind of using California as my new start. I'm changing my clothing I wear and I'm going to start being my age and I'm going to try and make some friends.

And he's right; I'm going to be rebellious. It's in my nature.

I slowly take the keys back from his hand. "Thanks." I mutter.

He sighs in relief, glad I've given in. "Now I'm going to bed."

...9...

I'm tired when we get home from school shopping the next day, and it's only seven, and I have to make dinner because Mom's at work. I put all of my stuff on my bed and collapse on top of it.

I'll just lie down for a moment.

And then I fall asleep, right there, without making dinner.

...9...

"Kat." Prim shakes my shoulder. I don't respond. "Sissy!" She uses the name she had for me when she was little, which she only uses on rare occasions.

I groan loudly and bury my head in my pillow. "What?"

"I tried to make dinner and I burnt the food." I roll off my stomach to face her.

"You burnt it?" I ask.

"I'm sorry...I wanted to be a good sister and let you sleep. You do for me all the time and just once I wanted to be like you!"

I stand up and stretch. "It's fine." I yawn. "What time is it?"

"It's almost eight."

Dammit, Prim has to be to bed at ten and I still have to make dinner and she needs to take a shower and I need to stay up until she's in bed. I don't want to wait until ten to go to bed. It's dark outside again. I go upstairs. "What do you want for dinner?" I ask.

"Um..." She frowns. "Can we have Hamburger helper?" She asks.

"Alright then; do me a favor and go and get ready for school-"

"I laid out my clothes and packed my bag already." She says.

"Okay, can you go take a shower then?"

"Okay." She walks away. I break open the hamburger helper box and dump the pound of meat in the fridge in a pan and put it up to high. When the meat is brown, after about fifteen minutes, I put in a cup of water, dump in the noodles in and add a cup of milk, and then I too the pan and put the timer on for twelve minutes and sit on the counter, stirring it occasionally. Prim walks into the living room and looks out the window.

"I like it here." She says.

"Me too," I admit.

"I just...sometimes-"

I hear the front door shut, and Mom walks into the kitchen.

I look at the time on my phone in pure shock. "Your not supposed to be home until two in the morning." I say.

She shakes her head. "Not anymore. I've taken the shifts so I'm home by five at night and I don't leave until eight in the morning. I'll still be making the same amount of money, so now I can spend some time with my girls." She kisses both of our cheeks and takes the spoon from my hand. "Girls, how about you go and get ready for school? I'll finish up here."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes honey." She says.

"Okay." I hop off the counter and walk into the basement. Prim follows me.

"You said you're going to try and look like your age, right?" She asks. I sigh.

"Yes." I open the bag with my clothes and dump them on my bed.

After being picky, I choose a loose white shirt with sleeves, and a black tank top to go beneath it, and then I get very tight camouflage skinny jeans and a pair of shiny black flats. I rest them on top of my dresser and rip the tags off everything new, and then I take a lot of time to organize binders and school supplies and toss them into my black _Jan Sport_ backpack.

I set my backpack by my dresser.

"That was fast." Prim says. I shrug.

"I guess so."

"Girls, it's dinner time!" Mom calls. We both go up the stairs and serve ourselves. Mom eats with us.

"Are you girls ready for school?" She asks.

"Yes." We say.

"Your schedules came in the mail." She tosses them in the table and I grab the one labeled "Everdeen J Katniss" and look at it.

_Period one (Ms. Paylor) - Creative Writing __RM 224_

_Period two (Mr. L) - Art 2D __RM 123_

_Period three (Mr. L) - Art 3D __RM 123_

_Period four (Mr. Cinna) - Music __RM 148_

_Lunch _

_Period five (Mrs. Alexandra) - French Four __RM 211_

_Period six (Mr. Horgan) - Holocaust __Portable 3_

_Period seven (Mr. Trike) - Algebra 2 __Portable 12_

I suppose it could be worse.

I finish my dinner and make mom go and rest and have Prim help clean up.

We don't finish until nine thirty. Prim is all ready for bed, so she sits down with Mom. I go into the bathroom and take a shower, preparing myself for what is to come tomorrow at a new school with nobody to talk to.


	3. Chapter 3

_Beep, beep, beep, beep!_

I moan and grope for my crummy cell phone, shutting the alarm off for the third time. It's five twenty, twenty minutes later than I originally planned to get up.

I moan again and sit up, flipping on the light next to my side table. I stumble my way to my dresser and rip off my pajamas. I grab my jeans and tank top and loose shirt and trip my way in my bra and underwear up the stairs. Mom is wide awake, and I know she's only up to see us off.

She laughs when she sees me. "Sleep well, honey?" she asks. I mutter out and incoherent 'it's too early' and then walk into the bathroom and slam the door behind myself.

I roll on deodorant and pull on my skinny camo pants, my black tank top and my white loosely fitted shirt. I ass my black flats and then curl my hair with the curling wand. When I decide I look good enough, I go pee, was my hands and face and then walk into the kitchen because I smell bacon and eggs. Prim is up, in a pink shirt and white jeans and wedges, her hair is up in some weird way, which looks awesome.

"You look like a girl." She says. I just nod in response and take my ADD medication, and then get some coffee to down it. Prim and I eat quickly. It's six fifteen and we are allowed to wander the halls at 6:49, and I'd like to be there before that. The first bell to get to class rings at seven, and then the warning bell rings at 7:03 and then the last bell, the late one, rings at 7:05.

"We should get going." I say, shoving the last mouthful of food in my mouth and putting my fork, plate and coffee cup in the dishwasher. Prim does the same.

"I have two of the same teachers." She announces. I know she's not physically saying it, but she's really nervous.

"Mr. L?" I ask.

She nods. "Yes."

"Do you have him second and third period?"

"Yes."

"We have him together."

"Both times?" she asks, surprised and slightly relived.

"Yeah,"

"Awesome, what lunch do you have?" she asks.

"I have first lunch."

"What lunch is that?"

"The one after forth,"

"Oh, me too." She says. "I'll be right back." She walks away. I go into the bathroom again and brush my teeth and go downstairs and get a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and shove it in the bottom of my bag, because I have a feeling I'll need them eventually.

When I go back upstairs, Mom is fretting over Prim.

"I'm fine!" she says. She's really nervous because this is her first year in high school.

Mom looks at me and the tears in her eyes start to spill. "Oh, it's your last year! Only one hundred and eighty days until you're done!" she hugs me and plants a wet kiss on my cheek. "Here." She hands the both of us ten dollars, drying her tears. "Put the money on your account."

"Okay." I sat, accepting the money and shoving it into my wallet. I turn to Prim. "Let's go."

She follows me out to the car. I see that guy from next door, the blond one getting in his car. I can't remember his name. I see him look at me, and our eyes lock. "Bye! Have a great day!" she calls. I can't look away from his eyes. They're so blue and clear and beautiful.

_What the hell am I saying?_

"Okay! Love you!" I call, snapping my eyes to my mothers. I see a flicker of suspicion in her eyes.

"Love you too." She says.

"Love you." Prim says.

"Love you too."

I unlock my car and we both get in, tossing our bags carelessly in the backseat.

I watch from the corner of my eye as I drive down the street at Prim's knee starts to bounce. "Nervous?" I ask.

"I'm gonna be sick." She says. I pull over.

"Open the door."

"I'm not being literal." She says.

I sigh and pull back onto the street. "High school isn't as bad as the stereotypes make it out to be. Just don't piss anybody off. I mean, you can piss off freshmen, because they're freshmen and they're pretty damn immature, and everyone pisses them off because they think they're all that."

"Will they piss me off?" she asks.

"Eh…probably not; If they know your last name is Everdeen, they won't. With the seniors, everyone knows everyone, and we all have each other's backs. If I went after someone's sister, I'd get my ass kicked by a ton of different seniors. So if anyone goes after you, that person will get their ass kicked. If you're lucky they may even let you in on their group and let you sit with them."

"Really?" she asks.

"Yeah, but you won't be needing that. You've never stepped foot into the school and already your popular."

"How will people know I'm related to a senior if nobody knows who you are?" she swallows worriedly and I can see she's about to start crying when we pull into the parking lot of the school.

"Well, I'm sure I'll probably be the only senior joining the class this year because typically, seniors like to stay with their graduating class, so I'll get approached."

"What if someone kicks your ass?" she asks.

I laugh loudly. "Don't worry about me. Oh, don't worry about the phone thing. If they see it they'll tell you to put it away. It doesn't get sent to the office like in middle school."

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"Yes." I say. "Don't leave the volume up on the phone though." I shut off the car and get out, grabbing my bag. Prim gets out too. I can see a ton of girls I can tell by first glance are freshmen staring at her.

"Where do we go?" she asks.

I already memorized my schedule and every room. It helps a lot on the first day. I learnt that freshmen year. I see people that are most likely seniors are staring at me. Prim grabs my arm as she slings her bag over her shoulder. "I'm scared." She whispers.

"You have nothing to be afraid of." I say.

"Katniss," she whimpers. "What if I don't make any friends? What if nobody likes me? What if I get bullied? What if-"

"Your overthinking. Everyone loves you, Prim. You won't get bullied with looks like that, and if you do I'll beat a bitch, alright?"

She lets out a long breath. "Okay. What about lunch? Who am I going to sit with at lunch?"

"You can sit with me at lunch if it really comes down to it." I reply. She follows me into the lunchroom, which is where everyone is, so I'm guessing this is where we wait.

"Katniss," Prim says. "Everyone is going to hate me." People with car keys are gawking at us, well, me.

They know I'm a senior, probably because I've got car keys, or I'm a junior.

I see a girl walk past that most definitely is a freshmen, the way she trembles and looks around at all the seniors and juniors like they're going to kick her ass.

"Hey." I say to the girl. She has long blond hair and she's wearing clothing that I can see my sister borrowing from her.

She pushes back against the wall and eyes the car keys in my hand. "Yes?" she asks. Her voice trembles.

"What's your name?"

If she could press herself further into the wall, she would. "K-Katelynne…" she whispers.

"Cool, this is my sister Prim, she's a freshmen. You guys should hang." I shove Prim towards her.

"Hi," Prim smiles and bounces on the balls of her feet. "I'm Primrose Everdeen. Prim for short."

"Hi Prim, I'm Katelynne." The girl says. She looks relived.

"Don't forget to turn the volume down on her phone, don't piss anyone off, don't cut in line, don't piss off the teachers, don't stare at the people older than you like they're going to kill you, don't be obnoxious and please, dear god Prim, _please_ don't be immature. You're going to be fifteen next month. Act like your age instead of acting like the rest of the fucking freshmen."

"How do the rest of the freshmen act?" Prim asks.

"Like babies. God, they're all babies. Don't be a baby or I'm going to have to pretend I don't know you."

A loot of worry passes Prim's features, and I smile. "I'm kidding." I say. "Don't loose your lunch money and remember if anyone bullies you that they can't define you, only you can. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset, just thanks them, smile and walk away. Don't gossip about them until you've got yourself completely alone and you know that nobody that'll go after you will overhear. If it _really_ upsets you, come find me and I'll say I have to go the bathroom and beat the kids ass, alright?"

"Okay." Prim says.

I look at Katelynne. "Same with you." I say.

She shifts, seeming to realx a little bit. "Thank you..." She trails off.

"My name is Katniss." I say.

"Katniss." She smiles.

I stand there for a minute or two until I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Bye." I say to Prim, and then I turn around.

He's tall, red hair, green eyes. "What grade are you in?" he asks.

"I'm a senior." I say.

"Why are you _just_ starting here?" he asks. Prim and Katelynne walk away.

"Because I moved here from New York on Saturday." I say.

"Nice." He nods in approval. "You're pretty hot."

"Thanks." I say.

"Want to go out?"

"I don't even know your damn name." I cross my arms. He's got a group of friends with him,a dn something tells me he's on the football team.

"The names Jacob." He says. "What's yours?"

"Katniss Everdeen." I say.

"So, want to go out?" he asks again.

"No."

His friends all start laughing and slapping his back, saying how he got 'ditched by a chick'. "Alright, that's cool." He says. "Maybe some other time?"

"We'll see." I smile and walk away.

I sit down at the only empty table. My phone vibrates. I pull it out of my pocket and press the _OK _button to read the message.

Unknown: _where are you Katniss?!_

Me: _Who's this?_

Unknown: _It's Megan!_

Me: _oh…I uh…I kind of moved to California…_

Seconds later, my phone starts vibrating in my hand. "Hey." I say.

"You moved?" she asks.

"Yes…" I say. "We had to."

"Well, nice knowing you then." She hangs up.

That's how Megan is, short and sweet and to the point. We only were together at lunch and shit, and we weren't friends because we read the whole time and didn't really talk. The first bell rings and I gather my belongings and scramble off to find my locker.

….a….

I walk into the lunchroom and roll my eyes when I see my sister sitting at a table, it's the long ones, and she's chatting with every freshmen that sits there.

God damn.

I knew she was _liked_ but I didn't realize she was this liked. People have stared at me all day, mostly guys. Those people that were outside of my house have a huge group too, and I know they're in charge of the school.

It doesn't surprise me, with the way they acted.

I sigh softly and go to an empty chair on the loser side of the cafeteria. I'm actually the only one not dressed in a depressing black color and a hoodie that sits here.

_This was me last year,_ I think to myself. _I belong here._

I'm not very hungry, so I'll just eat at home.

I sigh and open my bag, reaching for me book when someone plops down next to me. "So, don't think I didn't catch you staring at me this morning." The boy that lives next door says. A lot of people are gawking at us, or at the fact that he's on this side of the cafeteria. Something tells me the four people I met are the leaders of the group, the one that leads the school.

"You were staring back." I reply.

He smiles. "Do my remember me?" he leans slightly closer, and he smells incredible, like cinnamon and dill and a tiny hint of axe.

"I don't remember your name, but I know where you live."

He smiles brighter. "I'm Peeta. You're Katniss, right?" he asks.

"Yeah." I say. "Katniss Everdeen."

He looks over his shoulder at Prim's table. "That blond, is she your sister?" he asks.

"Yeah, why?"

He smiles. "She's really sweet."

"Yeah, she can be." I say.

Why am I talking to him?

_You are talking to him because you promised yourself that you would make friends. And he's really hot…_

I don't normally talk to guys, but he's an exception. "Well…" he looks over his shoulder. "you should come sit with us." I look at his friends.

"Uh…"

"They're not the druggies." He says. "They're the druggies." He points outside where there's a group of people in all black sitting on the grass, talking quietly amongst themselves. "We just kind of…" he shrugs. "Everyone does what we say."

"Well doesn't that sound selfish." I smile.

He smiles back. "Well…it's not quite like that, but you get it. Seriously though, come sit with us."

"Why do you want me to sit with you? Why are you even talking to me? Why do you keep looking at me?"

"Why do you keep asking so many questions?" Every single person at his table is staring at us, or me, or him, mostly just the both of us.

He rests his chin on his fingertips and waits for my answer. "Because…you…your mister popular, and I'm…I had one friend at my old school, and she technically wasn't a friend because I don't know her last name and I don't know anything about her except for she loves books."

"Everyone is a book." He says suddenly. "That's what my mom says. If you really want an answer to your question though, then I'm going to have to say that I want to open your book."

I stare at him for a long time. "Don't bother." I drop my hands and sit up straighter.

"Why?" he asks.

"I'm like, like a book. I'm just like a book that is cemented shut, Peeta. I can't be opened." I look down at my hands.

"Well..." he says, and I can hear confidence in his voice. "Then I'm going to have to get a chisel."


	4. Chapter 4

We stare into each other's eyes for a long time; so long that everyone in the cafeteria is dead silent, watching us, probably thinking we're going to kiss.

His eyes are even better up close. "You don't even know anything about me." I finally whisper.

He smiles brightly. "Well then it looks like I've got to open up the front cover, now don't I?" he whispers back.

I don't answer him, because I don't know how. He sighs softly when everyone goes back to their conversation. "Come on." He stands up. "Come sit with us? Please?"

"Um...okay." He leads me over to the table and pulls me down in a seat next to him.

"Wait, you aren't eating. Are you hungry?" He asks.

"I wasn't. It I kind if am now. I'll go-"

"No, I will." He disappears, but I get up and follow anyways. Prim gets in line after a ton of more people do.

"Why did you follow me?" He asks.

"Because I did," I shrug.

I make him let me pay for my own food. I don't eat much when I sit down, and he watches me closely. "What?" I ask.

"You're just amazing." He smiles.

I hear a clatter behind me and everyone falls dead silent. Prim is standing in the middle of the cafeteria and she dropped her tray and everyone is struggling not to laugh, and they're all staring at her. Peeta nudges me. "Isn't that your little sister?" He whispers. I see the way her eyes are wide and her face is pale and her blue eyes are two shades lighter that she's about to cry from embarrassment.

"Yes." I say. I deliberately hit my hand in my tray and spray my shirt and jeans with red Gatorade.

Everyone starts laughing, and I become the center of attention instead of Prim. I hit the table hard and it was loud and since it was all quiet, everyone looked. I stand up, my shirt dripping. I make sure to stand in the puddle of Gatorade. I grab my backpack, and as I walk out the door, I purposely trip.

Everyone is still laughing when I walk into the bathroom.

I'm so glad I brought extra clothing. I pull off my soaked white shirt in the middle of the bathroom and leave the black tank top on.

Annie and that other girl whose name I still haven't gotten walks into the room. The girl I don't know locks the door with a bobby pin.

"Are you anorexic?" She asks.

"No. I have really high metabolism." I admit.

"Johanna, normally people that have those types of problems have small boobs."

"Are you sure that door's locked?" I ask.

"Yes." Annie says. I pull off the black tank top and pull on my loose tan sleeves lace shirt that has another shut built in underneath it.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I'm guessing her name is Johanna because that's what Annie called her.

"Yes." I reply.

"Why?" Annie asks.

"She's my sister."

"Oh."

"Yeah," I sigh and take off my camouflage pants and pull on my white shorts and tan belt.

"I love that outfit." Annie says.

"Thank you."

I put my soaked clothes in my bag and walk calmly back out to the lunch room and sit back down next to Peeta. "I know you did that on purpose to take the attention from your sister to yourself." He says. I shrug.

"She was terrified of something like that happening. I'm going to do everything in my power to prevent it."

"I would do that for my little brother." He says. "He's over there." He points to a kid that looks like him but younger and his face is shaped differently.

I nod my head in silence.

"So," he begins. "You want to tell me why you were in such a bad mood last week?"

"I wasn't in a bad mood." I frown.

"You wouldn't even tell me your name." He points out.

"Well..." I bite my lip. "I was in a bad mood."

He laughs. "That's what I just said. Now, why we're you?" He asks.

"Well, we just moved from California." I say.

He nods and opens his mouth to reply but the bell cuts him off.

"What's our next class?" He asks, handing me my backpack.

"Music," I say.

He grins happily. "Me too..."

...9...

"Alright class," the teacher Mr. Cinna says. "Today, you all are going to sing."

Prim's in this class and so is Peeta and his brother. "You get in pairs if two, and you are going to both play instruments. You both can sing, too, but either way. You may only omit one instrument from the song, so songs with no more than three instruments." Some kids hand shoots up. "Yes?" He asks.

"Does our voice count as an instrument?"

Peeta groans softly next to me, and the teacher laughs. "I'm going to let you figure that out on your own. You guys are five minutes till preforming."

Prim goes into a panic.

Peeta nudges me. "I'm gonna work with my brother, okay?" He asks.

"Of course." I smile. Prim knows I can sing, and the only instrument she can play is guitar. I turn to her.

"Work with me?" She pleads.

"Okay." I say.

"What are we gonna do? Five minutes-"

"Prim, we already have a song prepared." The teacher is preparing the stage quickly.

"What song?" She asks.

"You'll see."

After people scurrying around in a frenzy, the teacher orders silence "Alright." He looks around the room and then locks eyes with me. "What's your name?" He asks. I look over my shoulder just in case.

"Katniss Everdeen." I say.

"Katniss?" He repeats.

"Yes."

"And she's your partner?" He points to Prim.

"Yes."

"What's your name?" He asks.

"Primrose Everdeen,"

"Are you guys related?"

"She's my sister." Prim says.

"You guys get along well enough to do this?" He sounds surprised.

"Yes." I say.

"Well, let's welcome Katniss and Primrose Everdeen."

We walk up into the stage.

"How did you prepare for this song?" He asks.

"She asked me to be partners and I said yes."

"That's it?" He raises his eyebrows.

"And then she asked what song we're doing and I said you'll see."

He raises his eyebrows.

"Is that wise? She doesn't know the song?"

"She'll be fine." I say strongly.

"Well..." He says. "How about we start then, and see if Primrose can figure this out."

I sit down at the piano and Prim stands awkwardly. "You can start whenever you're ready."

"Alright," I say. I start playing the song, and I hear a soft gasp from my little sister as she grabs the acoustic guitar and waits. I laugh softly.

As the first word leaves my mouth, she starts playing with me.

_Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave_

_How can I love when I'm afraid_

_To fall_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt_

_Suddenly goes away somehow_

She sings with me now.

_One step closer_

_I have died every day_

_waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_Time stands still_

_beauty in all she is_

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything_

_Take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath,_

_Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer_

_I have died every day_

_Waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_And all along I believed_

_I would find you_

_Time has brought_

_Your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_One step closer_

_One step closer_

_I have died every day_

_Waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid,_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_And all along I believed_

_I would find you_

_Time has brought_

_Your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

People are cheering and clapping and ecstatic. I stand up and go back to my seat with Prim following me.

...9...

I haven't seen Peeta since then, and Prim is waiting for me at the car. School just ended. I put the combo into my locker and rip it open, tossing my bag in carelessly and get the appears my teachers gave me to give mom to fill out. My phone starts ringing.

"Hello?" I ask, balancing my phone with my head and shoulder.

"Hi sweetie," She says.

"Mom?" I ask.

"Yeah, listen-"

I hear someone hiss something in the background and it sounds like they're telling someone else to be quiet. "Should you be working?" I ask.

"Yes, but-"

"Why aren't you working?"

"I need you to do me something." She says.

"Okay, what is it?" I ask.

"I need you to go to the library to get me a ton of books, I need you to go to the grocery store and go grocery shopping, I need you to take Prim to the dentist by four to make her appointment for seeing if she needs braces. Oh, and your birth control prescription is ready to be picked up. You have money. It's in your car. I dropped it off when you were in class."

I'm silent for a really long time. "Alright, but where am I going to get money?" I grab the last paper and shut my locker.

"I put it in your car when you were in class." She says.

"Okay." I shut my locker and turn around and head down the hallway.

"How was school? Did you make any friends?" She asks.

"It was alright. I wouldn't say we're friends."

"Who is she?" She asks.

"Well uh..." I bite my lip. "It was a boy, actually."

"A boy is your friend?" She asks, surprised. "Speaking if boys, who was that boy you were staring at this morning?"

I feel a soft tap on my shoulder and turn around. Peeta has my bag in his hand. "Can I call you back?" I ask. I hang up, not waiting for her answer. "Thank you." I take my bag from him.

"What are you doing this weekend?" He asks, following me out of the doors of the school.

"Watching my sister…" I lick my chapped lips. "Why?"

"Want to hang out?" He asks.

"I can't-"

"We live next door to each other and your sister is like, like fourteen or something. Don't you think you can sit on the porch at least?"

"Well, I can see if you can come over." I bite my lip. "Why are you so interested in me?"

He smiles. "Again with the questions," And then he shrugs. "Maybe I have a crush on you." He's gone before I have time to register what he just said.


	5. Chapter 5

"If you try and push that god of a boy away I'll kill you." Prim warns when I get in the car, very distracted.

"Honestly," I take a deep breath. "I don't think I'm quite capable of pushing him away from me."

She squeals and I groan. "You were just talking to him, right?" she asks. It's hot in here and I don't want to waste the gas, so I put the windows down.

"Yes." I start the car.

"What did he say to you? Did he ask you out? Oh, is he blunt? Did he just go and ask you how big your boobs-"

"Shut up." I snap. Then I sigh. "Sorry. No, he didn't just come out and ask me how big my boobs are. He asked me what I was doing this weekend."

She squeals again. "Really? Are you serious?"

"Yes. He's not blunt, he's bold."

She giggles. "Did he ask you on a date?"

"No, he just asked me to hang out?"

"And what did you say?" she demands. "God dammit Katniss, if you said you have to watch me-"

"That's exactly what I said."

"What the fuck! Mom told you to leave me at Haymitch's!"

"I didn't tell him no! Dammit Prim, he lives next door!"

"Really?" her eyes widen.

"Yes." I sigh. "He does. If I get Mom to say yes, he's going to come over."

"Just don't fucking ask." She says.

"Watch your fucking mouth Prim! You're fourteen!"

"You curse all the time!" she says.

"Yes, I do, but I'm going to be eighteen on May eighth!"

"I'm going to be fifteen next month." She crosses her arms stubbornly and sits back.

"I don't give a shit. When you're seventeen-"

"You've been cursing at Dad since you were fucking ten years old."

"_Ethan_ is an asshole, and he deserves to go to hell." I look behind me and right when there's a small space, I put the car in reverse and slam down on the gas before the shit ass car gets in the way.

"Put your seatbelt on or I'm telling Mom." She says.

"I really want to hit you right now." I hiss. I always wear my seatbelt, but I was too busy fighting with the _little shit_ to remember. I yank on seatbelt and pull it on.

"Go ahead, go and hit me. I'll tell Mom and you'll get in trouble." I see a few seniors walking past, muttering '_Little shit freshmen. I feel bad for Katniss_'

"Oh wow, you're going to go run and tell my Mommy on me, I'm so fucking scared."

"You will be when she takes away your phone and grounds you."

"Prim, do you really think I fucking care if I get grounded?" I ask.

"She's going to take your car." She says. "And your phone,"

"I don't even like this piece of shit phone anyways, and if she takes the car then I honestly don't give a fuck."

"If Dad heard you talking like this, he would smack you." She says.

Someone behind me slams down on the horn. I slam down on the gas and speed out of the parking lot. "That's because _Ethan's_ an ass."

She sits back and crosses her arms. "Yeah, and your just like him." I pull over and pull out my phone. "What are you doing?" She asks.

"I'm calling Mom. I'm ready to fucking kill you."

"Hey honey." Mom says.

"I'm going to fucking kill your stupid kid."

"Why?"

I go on a rant explaining everything and how she says that Ethan's going to hit me and how I'm just like him.

Mom used to love him, but there is much more to the story than him leaving, that no matter what happens, she'll never love him again. "What? Put her on the phone right now."

I hang the phone to Prim and she snatches it out of me hand. I pull back onto the street and head to the library.

When we pull into the parking lot, Prim ends her conversation with Mom. "Sorry, Katniss." She mutters.

"It's fine." I sigh.

"What are we doing here?"

"Mom has given us errands."

…..a…..

Prim is pissed, and so am I.

We have been stuck in traffic since five, and it's eight at night. We're not moving and Mom keeps calling us. We've got the groceries in the back, too, and we haven't had dinner.

Someone honks their horn out of pure anger. I sigh and shake my head. "This is fucking ridiculous!" I slam my hands down on the horn. I've just about had it.

I'm angrier than Prim is because I'm the one driving. Mom calls again.

"Hello?" I ask angrily.

"Where are you guys now?" she asks.

"We haven't move since the last time you called a half hour ago." I say.

"Not even a little bit?" she asks.

"No."

"Gosh." She sighs. "How's the gas doing?" she asks.

"I don't even have the car on. I refilled like you told me to so I'm up to a full tank still."

"Good." She says. "I'll call you later, okay?" she asks.

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too, bye."

"Bye." I hang up.

In the next hour, we move all of ten feet, and Mom calls again, and I can tell she's not only upset, but she's angry that we're out so late on a school night. "There isn't a back road or something?" she asks.

"Mom, if there was, I would be at home and I wouldn't be starving."

"Good point." We end the conversation again.

We start to move, and then, after getting to a light, we stop.

Another three hours pass and we only move ten feet. It's midnight. Prim's fallen asleep. I look longingly at the McDonalds.

We're not going to fucking move anyways. "Prim!" I wake her up.

"What?" she asks.

"Are you hungry?" I ask.

"I'm fucking starving." She grumbles, looking at the time on her nearly dead cell phone. 12:32.

I take the last of Mom's money and hand it to her. "Go run to McDonalds." I say.

"Are you kidding? It's late Katniss, and what if we move?" she asks.

"We won't." I say.

She gets out and runs across the street.

People who've been stuck with us steal my idea and a lot of people get out of theirs cars and run over to McDonalds.

Prim comes back with four double cheese burgers and two large cokes and two large fries and a ton of different sauces. I text my Mom.

Me: _We kind of were starving so I made Prim walk to McDonalds. You don't mind?_

Mom: _Not at all. I'm glad you guys ate._

Me: _me too._

….a….

It's not until three in the morning that we pull into the driveway.

"I have to pee so badly!" Prim gets out of the car, grabs her schoolbag and some groceries and runs in the house. I shut the car off, grab the rest of the groceries, the garbage from our food, my school bag, the library books and the stuff the dentist wants me to tell Mom, and then I get out, slam the door, lock the car and trudge in the house.

I don't even make it to my bed.

…..a…..

Someone is tapping my cheek gently. "Katniss, wake up!"

I jerk upwards, looking around, startled.

I can't believe I managed to get my ass up and get to school this morning. Peeta laughs softly. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"I need to sleep." I drop my head with a thud back to the table.

"Prim's asleep too. What happened last night?" he asks.

I explain the traffic situation. "You were almost stuck in traffic for twelve hours." He says. "That's terrible."

"I'm going to die." I groan.

"Can I see Katniss Everdeen and Primrose Everdeen? I have a PTL for you." The principle says. I lift my head.

"What is a PTL?" I ask.

"Permission to leave school." He says.

"I'm going home?" I mutter.

"Yes."

"Thank god." I get up and end up tripping. Peeta stands up quickly and pulls me off of the floor.

"It isn't very safe for you to be driving." He frowns in disapproval.

"I know." I yawn. "Whatever. I'm too tired to care." I pick up my bag. "Bye." I wave at him and then walk over to my sister and roughly shake her shoulder.

"What?" she asks. "I'm exhausted."

"Me too, now, we're going home early. Get your bag."

"We are?" she asks.

"Yes."

She scrambles up and grabs her bag. I walk over to the principle and he hands me a little yellow slip of paper. "Have a nice day." He says.

"Thank you, you too."

...a...

I walk in the front door. Haymitch is standing in the living room. Prim is halfway up the stairs to her room when he calls her back. "Listen girls," he says. "I know that you've been through hell and back with Ethan." He says.

"Can we talk about this later?" I ask, eying the floor, which looks comfortable.

"You can go to bed in a moment." He says. "You look like shit, by the way."

"Thanks." I say sarcastically.

"Listen." He says again. "My kid, she's your age." He says.

His kid we've never met. She's our cousin and she was put up for adoption by his wife when he was on a business trip. He couldn't find his kid after that. "Okay?" I ask.

"I found her. She's moving here tomorrow. Your mother has offered to take care of her, so she's moving here later today, going to your school tomorrow. Prim, she's taking your room."

"What!" Prim shrieks.

"Listen." He says. "It's not even your room anymore. It's hers. It's remodeled and everything."

"Are you kidding right now?" Prim asks. "She's your kid! Why can't you take care of her?"

"I want to, but I know nothing about kids. You guys should get along great. Her name is Scarlett Ruth Abernathy. Her adoptive parents are abusive and I got her back after proving everything with my ex-wife."

We stay silent.

"Prim, you're moving into the basement with Katniss."

"That's not fair!" she says.

"You have your own rooms."

"The basement is wide open. Putting up a curtain is not having our own rooms."

"I've split the basement evenly in half."

"With a curtain." I mutter under my breath. Prim laughs loudly.

"No. If that home designer show can rebuilt an entire house, don't you think a team of people and a very rich uncle and remodel a basement?"

"You remodeled the basement?" I ask in shock. I love the basement. It's so quiet down there. It's the size of the entire house except in length and width, and the house is _big_.

"Yes, and the walls are soundproof, so not matter how loud our music is, you won't hear it." He looks at Prim and then at me. "And no matter how loud you get having sex with that boy-"

"Peeta? Are you fucking kidding? We're just _friends_!"

"Right now you are." He says. "Anyways, Katniss, you have a huge bedroom and bathroom, you have a living room and a giant closet, oh, and a library. I'm already heading towards the stairs. "Just wait." He says. "Prim, you have a huge bedroom and bathroom, a living room, and I did put in a library and a walk in."

"Can we go look?" Prim is heading for the door.

"Yeah, we're both going to the same room because I want to see how you like it."

"Youngest to oldest!" Prim says.

I shrug. "Best for last."

We go down to the basement. Right here is hardwood and the walls are a soft yellow. Two doors stand before us. One is to the left and one is to the right, and the doors are on the right side of the staircase.

The door on the left is a green K on it and the door on the right has a pink P on it. "Does Mom know about this?"

"Yes. That's why she sent you on errands, so we could finish. You guys got caught up. Prim, you didn't even notice the change in your bedroom." He laughs. She shrugs. "I was tired. Can we go in please?"

"Yeah." Prim pushes open the door, and looks like she's going to sob. The floor is white tile, and the walls are white, too. It looks so good that it isn't too much white. In the middle of the wall there's a huge bed with a light pink comforter on it and there are four different doors. Prim opens the one on the far left and gasps. It's her closet. It's _huge_. It's completely stocked with clothes that she would definitely wear but I've never seen her in, and they're all her size.

"Oh, I got you girls new wardrobes." Haymitch says. "And shoes and stuff."

Prim looks like she's going to cry.

She opens the next door and walks into her living room, which is a light blue, still white tile, with black sofas and a gigantic flat screen TV that takes up the whole walk, the first wall you see when you walk in the door. There's a desk off on the right wall, and there's a laptop on it, and on the closed laptop sits an iPhone 5s. "What's that?" Prim walks all the way into the room and picks up the phone and the laptop.

"Yours, I'm paying for them."

She starts crying happy tears. She sets both of them down and walks out and into the next door. This one is a huge bathroom with white tile again, and tan walls. The shower is huge and so is the tub. "You guys have the same bathroom, actually, but different colors." Haymitch says. Good, I'm in love with this bathroom.

She walks into the next room and looks around. It's the library, and it's got few books in it. It's all the books she has. "I should read something." She says. It's bookshelves all around the room and there's a place in the floor where it's not tile, it's a bed, in the floor. The floor is still tiled white.

"Your turn," Haymitch says.

Prim follows us to my room. I'm _shocked_ when I open the door. It's all white hardwood floors. My bed is on a platform, and so is the area on that side of the room. The bed looks so fluffy and it has drawers. It's the biggest bed you could ever get and there wall right when you walk in is black, instead of everything that's white, and in huge carefully painted letters in forest green, it says 'my wonder wall' and there's photos of my from when I was a kid and all my memories. There's three doors to my left. I walk into the first and see my living room. It's just like Prim's, but I like mine better because the walls are a very light green, the couch is white, the floor is dark wood, my desk is matching the couch and I too, have an iPhone and a laptop. I look at Haymitch in shock and he just smiles.

"Oh, your rooms have surround sound, too." He says.

The next door is the walk in, which is the same model as Prim, and I have a whole new wardrobe, which I'm in love with.

Then the bathroom and instead of white tile, its black, the wall is white. Everything is black and white in here.

There's an archway in the corner of the left of the wall of the first wall you see when you walk into the room. I walk into it. This is my library. I have that same bed thing, and the bookshelves are stocked with books. I haven't read a lot of these, and I know Haymitch bought them.

I turn to Haymitch and hug him. "Thank you." I whisper.

"You're welcome. I want you girls to know," he lets me go. "That I love you both and your just like my kids. I'm taking over as Dad around here." Prim hugs him and thanks him. "Now, I'm going ot get going, I will be back at eight tonight with Scarlett. Please treat her like family. She's basically your sister." She kisses both of our foreheads and walks out. Since my door is open, we can hear the front door click shut.

Then Prim lets out a girlish scream and runs.

Seconds later, her bedroom door slam.


	6. Chapter 6

**In the end, you will see how it is now Katniss's turn to be bold.**

I woke up and started to read in the library. I didn't realize how late it was until someone knocks on my door. I don't move because I'm at a really good spot in my book. I hear my door open and then, without checking any other room, Mom walks right into the library.

"They're here." She says.

I put up a finger and finish my paragraph, and then bookmark my page, toss it on the bed in the floor and get up. "Is she nice?" I ask.

"She's alright." She says. "I don't really know her. She's shy."

"Okay."

I follow Mom upstairs. She's as tall at Haymitch, with hair the color if his all the way down till she's got an inch to her ass. Her eyes are gray and she has the shape of Haymitch's face, but everything else is her mothers.

She's really pretty. Prim's met her, and so has mom, so I'm the last one left. She doesn't look at me. "Hi." I say.

"Hi..." Her response is very quick.

I'm not very good with talking.

I don't say anything else, and Haymitch looks at me in outrage and I shrug.

"Scarlett, this is Katniss. Katniss, this is Scartlett."

"Nice to meet you...?" I don't mean for it to come out as a question.

"Nice to meet you, too." She says. "Sorry." She apologizes. "I...uh...I'm shy."

"That's alright. I'm shy, too, sometimes."

...8...

We ate dinner and watched a movie, and it was quiet and awkward. Halfway through the movie, I stand up. "I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed."

"Okay. Sleep well." Mom says.

I go downstairs, strip to my bra and underwear, crawl under the covers and fall asleep.

...9...

The sun is up high in the sky when I wake. I can see the light through the basement window.

"Shit." I sit up and look at the time on my phone. Forth period ends in twenty minutes. I spring up and burst into Prim's room. "Prim! Get up!" I shout.

She looks at the clock and springs out of bed to the bathroom. I rush upstairs and see Scarlett is awake.

"Hi." She says.

"Hi. Are you going to school today?"

"Yes." She says.

"Well, we're really late."

"Okay." She gets up and goes upstairs.

I rush downstairs and get a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt and then I take a quick shower, tie my hair in a bun instead of blow drying it, and then I get dressed brush my teeth and rush upstairs.

Prim's finding something to eat. "We can get food on the way."

Scarlett walks into the kitchen. "My Dad says that my schedule for classes has came in the mail."

I look at the counter. Mom left a note.

Katniss, you girls were sleeping still. Go to school when you wake up. I put Scarlett's schedule on the fridge.

Have a good day.

Love, Mom.

I grab the schedule off if the refrigerator. "Let's go."

...9...

There's fifteen more minutes of lunch left when I walk in the front office. The secretary looks up at us. "Hello." She says.

"Hi. We're kind if really late." I say. "She's a new student." I point at Scarlett. Her eyes light up.

"You must be Scarlett Abernathy!"

"Yes." She says.

"Oh, wonderful! You are in lunch now, but here." She writes all three of us passes.

"Thank you." I thank her.

"No problem." She smiles.

I walk out of the office and Prim and Scarlett follow me.

Peeta is talking to Finnick, Annie and Johanna when I walk in. Annie catches my eye and a huge smile lights up her face. She points excitedly over her shoulder and Finnick, Johanna and Peeta all look at me and they smile. I smile back and turn to Scarlett. "Where do you want to sit?" I ask. Prim walks off without a backwards glance. "You can sit with me." I say.

"Is there room?" She asks, looking over my shoulder and back at me. "I don't want to intrude. I know this is all new to you."

"Oh don't worry about it." I look over my shoulder. "We can make room?" It comes out as a question.

I look over my shoulder to see Peeta has already made room for the both of us. "Looks like they've already made room. Come on." I head to the table, but she grabs my arm.

"That boy is cute. Is he your boyfriend?"

"Who?" I ask.

"The blond."

"No, he's my friend. He's our neighbor, actually."

"Oh." She smiles. "He's really cute."

I want to tell her to back off. The urge to yell at her that Peeta is mine is so strong that it shocks me.

I don't have feelings for Peeta. Is my friend, kind of, nothing more.

"Don't worry." She says suddenly, snapping my back to sanity. "I won't try anything."

"Okay." I walk all the way to the table and sit down.

"What happened?" Johanna asks.

"I slept till ten ten." I shrug.

Peeta is opening his mouth to say something when I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see the Principle. "Katniss, can we speak for a moment?"

Oh shit, what did I do?

"Of course." I stand up.

"Get your stuff." He walks away. I grab my bag and follow him into his office, leaving the cafeteria silent.

"You're not in trouble. The guidance counselor isn't here and we have some problems with your schedule. "We need to fit in History, Environmental Science, English four and Economics." He says. "For Economics, we only have open period seven, so we're going to have to get rid of Algebra two. I don't even know why you have that." He types away for a whole. "For Environmental science we only have second period." He starts typing away. "For English four we have open third or fifth period. Which one?" He asks.

Fifth period is my music class. "Third period, Is that okay?"

"Of course," He begins to type again. "And last but not least, we have History. That's only available for period six."

He types and then taps his fingers in his desk. He hands me my new schedule. "Have a nice day, Katniss." He smiles.

"You too," I walk back to the cafeteria.

Scarlett is talking to Peeta and I notice how she keeps leaning closer and he keeps leaning back and he looks uncomfortable.

Finnick, Annie and Johanna are whispering. When I walk up, Scarlett scoots in my seat. Peeta looks at me for a moment and sighs. Everyone at the table and basically in the lunchroom is watching.

I don't want to be mean, but that's my fucking seat.

And I don't want her doing that to Peeta.

Because honestly, I think that I like him, and I don't like the fact that she's all over him.

"Is there a problem?" She asks sweetly, smiling like she's doing nothing wrong.

_Yeah, you're a bitch getting all over Peeta. _

"Not at all," I smile sweetly back at her.

And then what do I do?

I sit in Peeta's lap.


	7. Chapter 7

Peeta is still, but he doesn't push me off. Slowly, Scarlett scoots back into her seat and I slide off of his lap to my seat.

A long, very loud silence passes over the table. "What'd the principle want?" Peeta blurts.

"He changed my schedule." I say.

"What? No!" he takes the page out of my hand and inspects it. "Oh, hey, we have more classes together. We have science now, and we have Economics."

I sigh. "I was sort of happy not having a math class I don't know. I'm terrible at math."

Scarlett isn't very happy right now.

_It's not that I don't like her, because I do, it's just that I don't like the fact that she moved in with me, Mom and Prim. Sure, I like having the new room and I'm really happy about it, but…she's not my sister, she's Haymitch's daughter. She needs to live with him._

Plus, I'm not very good at sharing. I do _not_ want to share my Mama with my cousin. I have no problem sharing with Prim, but I'm not okay with sharing with someone else.

"Well maybe I could tutor you." Peeta says. I shrug.

"Maybe."

"So, did you talk to your Mom about this weekend?" he asks.

I hand freezes. "Um…"

"She said no?" he guesses.

"I uh…might have sort of forgot."

"Oh…"

…..a…..

I'm in my bedroom, laying in my library. I hear someone clear their throat in the doorway.

Haymitch.

"Katniss," he sits down on my floor bed next to me. "Didn't I tell you to be nice to her?"

"Yes." I say. I've been waiting for this conversation.

"Look," he sighs. "I told you that your just as much my kid as she is and as Prim is." He says.

"Yeah?" I mark my page and shut my book.

"Please just try…"

"I was trying!"

"Katniss, I find that hard to believe. You wouldn't even let her sit with you."

"What?" I laugh. "Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding? That is _not_ what happened."

"Well that's what Scarlett says."

"I'll be right back." I get up and walk out of my room and into Prim's. She's watching TV. "Come here. You won't fucking believe this."

"What?" she follows me back to the library.

"Tell Prim what you just told me." I say.

"Scarlett says you two were being rude and wouldn't pay any attention to her. She says you didn't drive her to school like you were supposed to, you didn't help her out, you made fun of her, and then you wouldn't let her sit with you at lunch."

"Are you kidding?" Prim asks. "That isn't what happened!"

"Well what happened then?" he stands up. Prim falls down go the hole in the floor that has the huge bed on it and puts her hands behind her head.

"We overslept. Katniss woke me _and_ her up. We got Chick-Fil-A and ate on the way to school. Then we went to lunch and Katniss got called to the principal's office to get her schedule changed. Scarlett was all over Kat's little boyfriend-"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Let me finish." She snaps. "And then Scarlett took Kat's seat and was being a real snob about it so Katniss sat down on Peeta's laugh and Scarlett backed off. We _both_ helped her find her classes. We did nothing but kiss her…" she doesn't say the word.

"We kissed her fucking ass." I cross my arms.

"Well…" he sighs. "I guess I see why you sat in the kids lap."

"Yeah, she doesn't know what she's talking about."

Haymitch sighs. "I'll go talk to her."

He walks away. Prim, after saying how stupid this whole thing is and how she doesn't want to share Mom, walks away and slams my bedroom door.

I'm angry and stressed, so I walk into my bathroom and slam my door, taking my phone with me. I start a hot bath in my huge bathtub, and when it's filled enough for me to have to sit straight up to keep my head from going underwater, I strip naked and get in the tub.

Why'd I do that? Why did I get all jealous and sit in Peeta's lap? That isn't like me.

I do not like Peeta Mellark.

I do not date.

I am Katniss Everdeen. I am Katniss Everdeen and I plan to keep it that way.

I sit there for a long time, and then I shave all over the place. I drain the water and then get in the shower and wash my hair and body. I shut off the water, wrap a towel around myself, grab my phone and toss it on my bed on my way to my closet.

I need lazy clothes.

I rummage around until I find a pair of gray sweats and a white tank top. I get a bra and a pair of panties too, and pull on the clothes. Then, I go back to the bathroom, hang my wet towel, put my soaked hair in a bun and lay down on my bed.

I get bored after a while and walk into my living room. I turn on the huge TV for the first time.

Mom and Prim watch Pretty Little Liars together all the time, and I think it's stupid.

But I've never seen it, so I go on Netflix, lie down and play the first episode of the show.

Mom walks in, and she gasps. "Oh my god! Prim!" she shouts.

She walks in and squeals.

"Shut up or I'm turning it off." I say.

Mom smiles and taps my legs. I move them and she sits down and pulls them on her lap, and Prim sits where my head is and lets me put my head on her lap.

"You've got some weird letter, honey." Mom hands it to me. It's a simply envelope that says _Katniss_ on it. It's handwritten, too, and there's no address. My address isn't even on it, which means someone put it in the mailbox.

"Who's it from?" Mom asks.

"I don't know." I rip it open and pull out the piece of paper. It's just a piece of printer paper. I unfold it. _(310) 246-2134._

"What is it?" Mom asks.

"It's a phone number."

Prim grabs the remote and pauses the TV. "Someone came to the house to put an envelope in the mailbox that only says a phone number. They didn't put an address or anything and you have no idea who it is from?" she asks.

I grab my phone off the table in front of me.

"What are you doing?" Prim demands.

"I'm gonna see who this is." I sit up and unlock my iPhone. I hear a soft knock on the door and we all look over our shoulders and see Scarlett.

"Am I intruding?" she asks.

"Not at all." I say. I'm not going to be mean to her.

II scoot closer to Mom and she sits down between Prim and I.

"What's that?" she points to the number in my hand. Prim explains what's going on.

"That's weird." She says.

"Are you going to call them or text them?" Mom asks.

"Well…" I shrug. "I'm going to call."

"Seriously?" Scarlett asks. "God, I would block the number. That takes balls. The four of us laugh.

I dial the number. "Put it on speaker phone." Mom says.

It rings and rings and rings, and then stops.

"Hello?"

It's a voice I don't know.

"Um…" I bite my lip for a long time. "Who is this?"

"I'm a dude." He says.

"Yeah, I sort of got that part." I'm silent for a very long time.

"What's your name?"

"Katniss." I say.

"Katniss what?" he asks.

"I don't know you. I'm not telling you anything about myself. My name is Katniss. That's all you need to know."

He laughs loudly. "LITTLE BROTHER! YOU GOT A FUCKING PHONE CALL!"

We all hold our breaths for a long time.

And then I panic and hang up.

"Katniss!" Scarlett laughs. I burst out laughing, and then the four of us are laughing hysterically, and mom laughs so hard that she has to go to the bathroom.

When she comes back, my phone starts ringing.

It's the boy again.

"Speaker!" Prim says.

Slowly, I press answer and put it on speaker.

"Why'd you hang up babe?" the same boy asks. I can hear someone shouting in the background and then a crash and more screaming.

"They're fighting." Mom whispers.

"HEY!" a women screams the in background. "Give your brother the phone and act your age!"

Then I hear silence, and a loud, irritated sigh. "Um…hi Katniss."

"Peeta?" I ask in shock.

"Uh…yes."

"Who was that boy?"

"My brother…" he frowns. "Come outside." The line goes dead.

"Go." Mom says.

"Oh, maybe he's gonna ask you out!" Scarlett grins. I stand up and toss my hurl my phone across the room on the way out. It lands on my bed. The three of them follow me out of my room and upstairs. My tank top has ridden up to about an inch below my belly button and my sweats are rolled. I open the front door and nobody's out there.

But I look down at the porch, and I'm actually shocked at what I see.

There's a chisel sitting there.

I actually laugh. There's a little piece of paper attached to it, and I kneel down in front of it and peel off the paper.

_Now all I have to do is find that impossible book and I'm all good, right? _

_Don't take this, because it's my Dad's and I found it in the garage. _

_-Peeta_

I shut the door and go back downstairs. The girls follow me again, not understanding. It's between Peeta and I, and they wouldn't understand anyways. "You're crying." Mom sits down on my bed. Scarlett and Prim sit with me as I pick my phone up and text Peeta.

Me: _You made me cry._

(310) 246-2134: _Oh god, I'm really sorry. Come outside again. _

I save him as a contact. "What's that say?" Prim asks, pointing to the note. Mom takes it from my hand and reads it out loud.

"What impossible book?" Scarlett asks. She already knows my entire childhood, because we sat her down and told her at dinner last night, so she knew what we were talking about.

"On the first day of school he wanted to know everything about me and I don't open up easily. I told him I'm like a book that's cemented just and impossible to get open, and he said he'd have to get a chisel. He put a chisel on the porch and left this note, and not he wants me to go outside again. I think it's actually going to be him this time."

"So go." Mom says.

I look down at my sweats and tank top and decide I don't care. "But I don't want him to see me cry."

"Well…he really likes you, obviously." Scarlett frowns. "Just go."

I sigh and leave my phone and note on the bed and stand up.

Again, they follow me. They wait out of sight, but still in hearing range. I open the door, and the chisel is gone, but he's standing there. "God, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to make you cry."

He looks me up and down and sighs. "It's okay…" I look down.

"Are you busy tonight?" he asks.

"I'm never busy." I mumble.

"Want to go to the beach?"

I eye him for a long time. "Give me five minutes." Then I shut the door in his face and go back downstairs.

"It's not a date." Mom says when I walk into my closet. "He would have specified. You are going to the beach, not to some restaurant. Don't look like your trying too hard."

Then they start helping me.

"Hey, what about this?" Scarlett asks. I look at her. She has a blue flowing dress that doesn't hug a random part of my body.

"The beach, Scarlett." Prim reminds her.

She sighs and puts the dress back. "You guys need to hurry up and go on a date. I want to help."

"I know!" Prim groans.

"We are _not_ going to go on a date."

"Bull." Mom says. "Yes you are."

"This!" Prim flings a blue bikini top at me and matching bottoms, and then she tosses a pair of matching blue sandals, a white half shirt and white sunglasses. "Go! Leave your hair down!"

I walk into the bathroom and get dressed quickly. I take my hair out of the braid, put the sunglasses on my head and decide that I look adorable. When I walk out, I am handed a purse that has my phone, wallet, car keys and money. They follow me upstairs. "Be bold Katniss." Prim says.

"What time do I have to be-"

"Ten." Mom says. "I gave you money if you go to dinner, and if you don't go to dinner you ca eat when you get home."

"Okay." I walk out of the door. He changed, too. He has on blue and white bathing suit bottoms and a white muscle shirt and Sperry's.

"You don't mind walking, do you?" he asks.

"No."

We walk down the driveway and then down the sidewalk. He has his hands in his swimsuit pockets.

After a long time of silence, I start flipping out. "You're being awfully quiet." He says. I look at him and shrug.

"There's nothing to talk about."

He laughs. "Katniss, I've known you for three days and all I know is you have a Mom and sister. I don't know where your Dad is. I know you have a cousin named Scarlett and I know where you live. I am _dying_ to know every little detail. You can't at least tell me something that isn't that bad?"

"Well…" I bite my lip. "What do you want to know?"

"Let's just…" he thinks for a little while. "I'll ask you something and then you answer and ask me something, okay?"

"Um…okay."

"Okay." He lets out a long breath. "Where's your Dad?"

I glare at him. "I'm not answering that."

He sighs. "Why not?"

I stop walking and he turns to face me. "That's almost the whole book. You've not even flipped the cover yet. You've only gotten strong enough to read the back, which only talks about my family."

"Your Dad is family." He points out.

"No he isn't." I cross my arms.

He sighs. "Alright, sorry, it was rude of me to ask." He sighs. "It just…" he gently pulls me arm so I start walking again. "It feels like I've known you all of my life."

"What's your question?" I ask.

"Okay…what is your favorite color?"

"Green." I walk beside him. "What's yours?"

"Orange."

"Ew." I frown. "Orange like a highlighter?"

"No, orange like…" he looks around. "Like that." He points at the sunset. "I love that color."

We stare at it for a while. "It's pretty." I agree.

"Yes." He smiles and starts walking again. "So…where are you from?"

"New York City."

He looks at me in shock. "You're a New Yorker?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask. He laughs.

"You just don't seem like that type of girl. It's your turn."

"Are you from here?"

"No, originally, I'm from Florida." He admits. "What do you like to do?"

"I read and write all the time."

"Really?" he asks.

"Yes, I have a library in my bedroom."

"Wow." He sounds surprised.

"What about you?"

"I paint and draw."

"Wow." I mumble.

This goes on for a few hours. We've been sitting on the beach for a long time.

"Any past boyfriends?" he asks.

"Two. Gale Hawthorne and Cato Harris."

"And?" he asks.

"Gale was pissed because I wouldn't have sex with him, then he left and the next day he was making out with a girl named Madge. Same with Cato, but the next day he was grinding some whore named Glimmer."

"What bastards." He mutters.

"Have you had any girlfriends?"

"A few; I broke up with them and some of them broke up with me." He shrugs. "I didn't love them."

It's nearing ten, so we begin to head on home.

He walks me to my door and turns to me. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he asks.

"Okay." I nod my head. "Bye."

He darts forward and kisses my cheek. "Bye." And then he's gone, leaving me speechless.


	8. Chapter 8

I sigh for what feels like a millionth time and roll over again. I ate dinner and I took another shower, but the feeling of his lips on my cheek has completely dominated my mind and I can't help but think about what his lips would feel like in other places. My lips, for example, or my neck, or my collarbone...or my chest...or my abdomen...or lower.

"Dammit!" I shout. I make a mental note to thank Haymitch for soundproof walls. I throw the covers off of me and pace.

I don't want to read and I can't sit still.

Honestly, I'm aroused right now and I've never masturbated before and I really don't want to because I'm afraid.

I run my fingers through my hair and tug on it.

That damn boy.

I take that back. I really want to but I'm nervous and I don't know how.

It's all hot and uncomfortable down there.

I take another shower and lean against the wall.

...9...

I ended up doing it. It's weird and I will never admit it.

But I'm in a very bad mood today. I didn't get to bed till two because I still couldn't fall asleep after I did it.

I walk into my creative writing class.

We have a substitute today. "Just free write in your journals all class." He says.

I want to write my feelings but I'll do that later. As of right now, I'm going to continue my story. It's about a girl who lives in he country with her abusive father and he raped her and she filed for emancipation and she is struggling to maintain herself.

The period flies by. I walk into second period, and then third, and then forth, and I hide in the bathroom for lunch and then fifth period comes around.

Peeta walks right over to me when I walk in the door. "What's up with you today?" He asks.

"Nothing." I lie.

"Prim and Scarlett said you're in a pissy mood." He says.

"Well they're right."

"Why'd you ditch lunch?" He asks.

"Does it matter?" I snap. He looks down for a minute and I start to feel terrible.

"I'll leave you alone."

...9...

I went home, locked my bedroom door and sat there.

I'm such a bitch.

I was going to start crying. I don't want to cry, so I grab my book and go outside. I sit in the grass with my legs crossed and read.

I love this book.

I can't focus though, and I shut my book and lay down.

I was such a bitch to him, and he was so sweet to me. I can't forget the hurt look on his face when I was snapping at him.

I look at his driveway and see his car is there. He has three brothers and there are four cars. I'm guessing two of them are his older brothers one is his parents.

I'm going to say everyone is home, and I feel like a total bitch.

I get up and go to my room and put my book on my bed.

Then, I take a shower and put on a white dress with pink, yellow and blue flowers all over the place. It's loose all around but sort of bunched up at the chest, and there's a tan belt that goes on it. I put a pushup bra on with it and white panties. I get white sandals and put them on. Then, I blow dry my hair, grab my phone and go upstairs.

"Going out with Peeta?" Prim asks.

"I just need to go talk to him." I say.

She smirks. "Keep your clothes on."

I roll my eyes and walk out the front door.

Then I take a deep breath, walk to his door and knock.

I hear footsteps and then a boy, probably his oldest brother opens the door. His eyes are another shade of blue and his hair isn't slightly curly like Peeta's.

He looks me up and down three times. "Well hello there beautiful, what can I do for you?" he smiles.

"Is Peeta here?" I ask.

He looks me up and down a few more times and throws his head back and laughs. "You must be _Katniss_." He says my name really loudly, and I hear the faint sound of the TV in the other room mute. "_Katniss_." He repeats. "How about you come in darling? I'll go get my brother." He steps aside, and slowly, I step into the house. He shuts the door and walks away. "PEETA!" he shouts.

A women with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes walks into the room I'm in. "Hi, you must be Katniss. I'm Peeta's Mom, Renee. I've heard so much about you." She sticks her hand out. I shake it.

"Hi." I smile.

"Sorry about Graham. He's twenty one and he's…" she shrugs. "He's a college boy."

Another boy that looks to be older than Peeta but younger than Graham walks into the room. "Dammit." He says. "My little bro wasn't kidding."

"Kidding about what?" I ask.

"He said you're beautiful and that when he saw you, you took his breath away. He says your radiant and your smile lights up the room and makes even the most depressed people feel better." He says.

Peeta said that about me? "He said that?" I ask, surprised.

"Yes, and he said that he-"

"Katniss!" Peeta rushes down the stairs and elbows the boy in the ribs. "What are you doing here?" he looks happy to see me, even though I saw a bitch.

"Um…I kind of need to talk to you." I say.

"I'm Rye by the way." The boy says. "I'm the one that answered Peeta's phone."

"Oh…that was you…"

"Yes, he's in college too." Peeta's mother explains.

"Who was at the door?"

Another man, defiantly Peeta's dad walks in. He looks me up and down. "You're Katniss, aren't you?" he asks.

"Yes…"

"I'm Peeta's Dad, Andrew." He shakes my hand.

"It's nice to meet you…" I mumble, looking down for a moment.

"He said your shy too." Rye says. "And he obviously meant every word, especially when he said that he really l-"

"Let's go on a walk." Peeta opens the front door. "I'll be back." He shoots a glare at his brother before pulling me out of the house. "Sorry." He apologies. "Let's go."

"Wait." I say. He looks at me. "I'm really sorry…" I bite my lip.

"You're sorry?" he asks. "You didn't even do anything wrong."

"No, I was a bitch to you in music class today and I'm really sorry. It was sort of uncalled for and I feel terrible."

"Oh Katniss…" he trails off. "I was being pushy. You didn't do anything."

"Peeta, I was a jerk-"

"Well everyone has their moments." He frowns. "Are you seriously upset about it?"

I walk off of his porch. "Peeta, I almost started crying when I came home from school."

"Why?" he starts to walk, and I follow him.

"Because…" I'm silent. "I was mean."

"I understand. I was being pushy and you wanted some space. You have no reason to apologize."

"Why can't you just accept that I'm sorry?" I ask.

He looks at me and grins. "It's okay, it's just that I don't think you did anything wrong."

I sigh. "Well I'm still sorry." I mumble.

He smiles and surprises me by putting his arm around my shoulder. "Well it's okay, okay?"

"Okay." I mumble. "Listen, I can't be gone for long. I'm supposed to be watching my sister."

"Ah yes, your sister." He stops walking. "So I should get you home, yes?"

"I suppose." I frown.

"Let's go."


	9. Chapter 9

I had a terrible nightmare, and I wake in a cold sweat, crying.

My hand gets my notebook and pen from my bedside table. I flip the light on and begin to write.

_He's such an asshole, my Dad is. I was four years old when he first hit me. What kind of animal hits an innocent four year old? He abused me, and he looked forward to me coming home from school so he could beat me. _

_When I hit seven, he left for years. _

_The reminder that people aren't who they appear to be made me stay away from the little kids my age. I kept to myself, even at the age of seven. I didn't make any friends like normal people, I didn't have good grades. Dad took all of that. I would make up screaming for him to stop each night, and then Mom would cradle me against her chest as I cried myself to sleep, only to be awoken by yet another nightmare._

_I thought I was getting better, and so did Mom and my younger sibling, but when I hit the age of ten, Dad came back. He beat me again, and my grades, which I'd managed to rise from straight A's, dropped to straight F's. Dad was so angry. He beat me even worse than he did when I was a kid. _

"_Stop moving!" he screams in my ear when I get knocked backward after taking a strong punch to the stomach. "You worthless child, get your ass back here!" _

_He broke my arm, and I screamed. _

_Mom let him back into the house because she thought he could change. _

_But he didn't. I believe people can change, but I don't think he can. He can't change. He's a boiling pit of hatred. _

_One night, when I was fourteen, Mom was working late. I was just getting out of the shower, tying a towel around my body dripping with moisture when he walked in the bathroom and told me to pretend to be like it._

_He ripped my towel off, and I knew he was going to rape me. My little sister, she was eleven at this time, and she called the cops. He ran. _

_I didn't see him again until I was sixteen years old. He didn't try to rape me again, but he beat the shit out of me, and laughed as he did. I noticed though, that he didn't dare touch me when Mom was around. If Mom was around and she found out, she'd kill him. I knew that Mom was what I needed to keep me safe. I was used to wearing all long sleeves to hide the bruises. He didn't even touch my sister, but he loved hurting me. He looked forward to it. He started drinking. He drank up all of Mom's hard earned money, and then he left. I haven't seen him since. _

_I am seventeen years old and Mom ran out of money, so we moved with my sister. He doesn't know where we live. If he ever gets near me again, I don't know what I'll do. _

_I still wake up from nightmares, and when I do, I write what happened. _

_I just want to forget him. I don't even call him "Dad" anymore; I just call him by his first name. Now that I'm older and Mom fully understands what happened, she hates him with her whole heart and more. _

_All I can say as I hope he goes to hell._

I let out a long breath. It's already four thirty, so I shove my journal in my backpack and take a hot bath, and then I get ready for school. Prim and Scarlett are awake when I go upstairs, and it's already pretty late, so I ditch breakfast and we head to school.

…a…

"We have a new student in this class." My creative writing teacher says.

Everyone looks around, and I'm surprised when I see its Peeta. He's sitting right behind me and I didn't even see him. "So, I have a new assignment for you." He says.

_What are you doing here? _I pass a note to Peeta.

_The school gave me drivers ED, and obviously I don't need it because I've got my license. I switched out and this was the only place open._

_Do you even know how to write?_

He smirks. _I'll learn. That's what you do in school, you know. How's the teacher though?_

I chew on my pen for a moment.

_He's fucking insane and he sucks down three cokes per class, most likely he's got diabetes. He pretended to have a heart attack on the desk the other day and I'm shocked he didn't throw his back out. I personally think he sits there at his desk while we write and he watches porn all day._

Peeta laughs, and then tried to disguise it for a cough, but it's too late.

"Passing notes are we?" he asks.

"No." Peeta blurts.

"Yes you are. Who passed it first?" he asks.

"I did." Peeta says.

"No he didn't, I did." I shoot Peeta a look.

"Alright, how about you read it out loud?"

Oh shit.

Peeta's eyes go wide.

"Um…" I bite my lip.

"Come on, read it aloud." He says. "Come up to the front of the class and read it out loud."

Peeta stares at me. "That's really unnecessary." He says.

"Okay." I stand up. Peeta's eyes widen as I take the note out of his hand and walk to the front of the class. "It started when I asked Peeta 'why are you here' and he said 'The school gave me drivers ED, and obviously I don't need it because I've got my license. I switched out and this was the only place open.' and then I said 'Do you even know how to write?' and he said 'I'll learn. That's what you do in school, you know. How's the teacher though?' and then I replied with 'He's awesome.'"

"May I see it?" he asks.

"No, I need this paper; it has my homework on it. Sorry."

I sit back down in my seat and shove the paper deep in my bag.

He gives up. Peeta nails the back of my chair. "Good work."

I nod, but don't turn in his direction. "Now, those essays we wrote yesterday, the ones that I told you to write about anything and make is a story and make is interesting? How it's explicit so any words can be used? How about you pass them to someone to revise them and then turn them in?"

I grab my notebook and rip the story I wrote yesterday out of it and thrust the papers at Peeta.

"This is the assignment that is going to Barnes and Noble as a contest, correct?" a girl named Jasmine asks.

"Yes. These are the copies going to Barnes and Noble, but I'm going to read you some awesome stores of these before I submit them tomorrow after school."

I don't have anyone's to revise, so I wait patiently as the room falls into silence. I tap my fingers on my lap for a while. Peeta hands the papers back to me. I can see a weird look in his eyes. He wrote my name on it.

"Okay, are you guys done?" he asks. "Pass them up."

I hand my paper to the person in front of me and it gets passed up.

The bell rings, and we head to second period.

…..a…..

Peeta's been very quiet, and he's been acting really jumpy since first period.

"Katniss." My Creative Writing teacher says when I walk into the room as the bell rings the next day, Friday, _finally_.

"Yes?" I toss my bag in my chair. Peeta looks sick to his stomach.

"Did anyone help you with your paper?" he asks.

"No." I frown. "Why? Is it terrible? It was late when I wrote it because I honestly forgot-"

"No Katniss, it's excellent."

"Oh…thanks." I sit down.

"Okay, everyone be quiet." He orders. "I'm reading some papers today and you guys are going to say your comments and then the author will identify him or herself if they want to."

Everyone is paying attention.

He begins reading one, about a girl who loves to cook, and then one day she get murdered while cooking and her house burns down.

It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

"What's something that's effective or something the author needs to redo?"

I raise my hand, and feel myself embarrassed that nobody else does.

"Yes, Miss Everdeen." He says.

"Well…it's kind of confusing." I say. "Like, I get what happened and how she was murdered even though the author didn't really specify that she was murdered, but…it was in first person point of view, and the girl died and the story continued. If she's the one telling the story, how does she know the place burnt down when she died? Shouldn't it be implied? I mean…she lives alone and she was cooking…" I trail off.

"Yes, I was hoping someone would mention it."

Nobody says anything else, and the author is some girl whose name I don't know, she admits what she did was a mistake, and then the teacher reads another piece. It's good enough that nobody judges it, and then he sheepishly admits that he himself wrote it.

"Okay." He says.

He grabs the next paper. "This is the last one." He says. "We'll read more on Monday." He adds. He takes a deep breath and starts to read. "He's such an asshole, my Dad is. I was four years old when he first hit me. What kind of animal hits an innocent four year old? He abused me, and he looked forward to me coming home from school so he could beat me. When I hit seven, he left for years. The reminder that people aren't who they appear to be made me stay away from the little kids my age. I kept to myself, even at the age of seven. I didn't make any friends like normal people, I didn't have good grades. Dad took all of that. I would make up screaming for him to stop each night, and then Mom would cradle me against her chest as I cried myself to sleep, only to be awoken by yet another nightmare. I thought I was getting better, and so did Mom and my younger sibling, but when I hit the age of ten, Dad came back. He beat me again, and my grades, which I'd managed to rise from straight A's, dropped to straight F's. Dad was so angry. He beat me even worse than he did when I was a kid. "Stop moving!" he screams in my ear when I get knocked backward after taking a strong punch to the stomach. "You worthless child, get your ass back here!" He broke my arm, and I screamed. Mom let him back into the house because she thought he could change. But he didn't. I believe people can change, but I don't think he can. He can't change. He's a boiling pit of hatred. One night, when I was fourteen, Mom was working late. I was just getting out of the shower, tying a towel around my body dripping with moisture when he walked in the bathroom and told me to pretend to be like it. He ripped my towel off, and I knew he was going to rape me. My little sister, she was eleven at this time, and she called the cops. He ran. I didn't see him again until I was sixteen years old. He didn't try to rape me again, but he beat the shit out of me, and laughed as he did. I noticed though, that he didn't dare touch me when Mom was around. If Mom was around and she found out, she'd kill him. I knew that Mom was what I needed to keep me safe. I was used to wearing all long sleeves to hide the bruises. He didn't even touch my sister, but he loved hurting me. He looked forward to it. He started drinking. He drank up all of Mom's hard earned money, and then he left. I haven't seen him since. I am seventeen years old and Mom ran out of money, so we moved with my sister. He doesn't know where we live. If he ever gets near me again, I don't know what I'll do. I still wake up from nightmares, and when I do, I write what happened. I just want to forget him. I don't even call him "Dad" anymore; I just call him by his first name. Now that I'm older and Mom fully understands what happened, she hates him with her whole heart and more. All I can say as I hope he goes to hell."

I think I'm going to pass out.

I'm about to burst into tears.

That was the wrong paper! I turned in the wrong paper! That was _real_ about Ethan! Peeta read it! He read it to the whole class!

"Does anyone have something they would like to say?" Mr. Paylor asks.

Someone's hand shoots right up into the air.

"Yes, Chrystal?"

"That was…it was so good! The emotion was amazing and it's like the writer has actually been through all of that! It was incredible! I wish that we knew what the person's name was though, but other than that, it was so good that it literally took my breath away."

"It was amazing." Someone says.

"Raise your hands if you think the author should have put the girls name."

Everyone raises their hand.

"Would the author like to identify him or herself?"

I might as well do it.

Slowly, I raise my hand, and Peeta starts clapping loudly until everyone else does. I shoot him a look, and I think he knows that I didn't mean to turn that in.

"Katniss," Mr. Paylor says. "Did you purposely not put the authors name?"

_Lie! I have to lie!_

"I actually forgot."

"So she has a name?" he asks.

"Yes."

"What's her name?"

_Fuck! Her name is Katniss! It's me! It's my abusive father!_

"Kelsey." I blurt. "Kelsey Walker."

"Kelsey." He nods. "It fits. Very good. I think you have a strong chance of winning this contest."

The bell rings, and I'm the first one out of the door. Peeta has to jog to keep up with me, and he grabs my hand and spins me around. "Let's go home."


	10. Chapter 10

**Can you guys pretend you didn't read chapter ten? I'm not doing You're Mine because I started it and turned it to a disaster and got mad and erased it.**

**So were back to ditching, and none of the other stuff happened.**

We stayed until after fifth period and then we ditched and went home. I'll go and pick up Scarlett and Prim.

He comes to my house with me, and we sit in my bedroom. He acts like he doesn't know.

I might as well just confirm it. "Her name isn't Kelsey. Her name is Katniss." I whisper, breaking the long silence.

He's silent for a very long time. "I sort of figured that out." He whispers.

"This is why I didn't want you to know. I've known you for five days and already-"

"It feels like I've known you forever." He blurts. "Doesn't it?"

I look at him, into his eyes.

We're so close to one another, and I'm stuck at how beautiful his eyes are.

It looks like I'm underwater with a flashlight and looking upward to the top. They're darker blue at the edge and then lighten the closer they get to the pupil. His eyes are so breathtaking and I actually lose track of what we were talking about for a while of just staring into his eyes and him staring back.

"If there was anything longer than forever, then that's what it feels like." I whisper.

He watches me closely. "Isn't it better that I've found out this way? We both knew I was going to find out. This saves you the stress of telling me."

"Everyone knows."

"No, they know that happened to a fake girl named Kelsey." He tilts my chin up so my eyes meet his.

"I wish I've known you all of my life." I mumble.

"I wish that I've know you all of my life, too, but I'll take what I get. This is pure luck, me finding you."

"It's fate, Peeta. It's not luck."

"If you ever want to talk about it…" he sighs.

"Peeta I didn't even want you to know. If I would change it, I would. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not ready to let you in. You'll know when I am, trust me."

He sighs.

"Alright."

**Sorry this is so short. **


	11. Chapter 11

Three months have passed. Peeta, Finnick, Johanna, Annie and I are inseparable best friends. Scarlett sort if enjoys other friends and doesn't bother me. Prim is good friends with Peeta's younger brother. It's late October.

I won that Barnes and Noble contest, and the piece was read over the intercom to the entire school.

The girl who everyone knows is named Kelsey is now popular.

Every day at least four people ask me what my intention what and how did I make it so good.

And I lie.

But I'm done lying.

"I want to tell them that Kelsey is me." I admit to Peeta, Finnick, Jo and Ann. We're in my floor bed in my room.

"Go ahead." Peeta shrugs. "You could do what I'm going to do and take completely advantage of the concert we have to do in front of the whole school and parents and staff. I wrote a song for it and I'm all set. I'm ready to sing this tomorrow."

I don't want to do that. "I think I'll just tell them." I sigh. "I'm just nervous."

I know I have a big crush on Peeta.

"Well if you're nervous then obviously you shouldn't tell them." Johanna says.

"I just want to get it off of my chest. The praise is killing me. That wasn't even the one I was supposed to turn in. Mine was about a girl who was climbing up an active volcano and didn't realize it. Then it erupted when she was almost to the top and she died."

Finn barks out a laugh. "That's really stupid."

"Yes, I know it is." I sigh.

"Maybe you don't have to tell them." Peeta says. "Just wait till Monday. If you still want to, then tell them. If not, don't."

"What are we doing for Halloween?" Annie asks.

"Brainless if you say watching your sister I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Well that's what I'm doing."

It's Thursday and tomorrow I have that concert thing for school where Mom is coming to see me and Prim, and then Saturday is Halloween.

"Katniss?" Mom asks.

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk about something." She looks at my friends. "You guys can stay. Your here all the time anyways."

Prim walks into the room and Scarlett follows her.

"Okay I'm going to start by saying I got a new job." She says. "Now I will be home when you get home from school."

"Where is it?"

"Let me finish." She says. "It's at a daycare and I only work weekdays."

"A daycare?" I ask. "Really?"

"Yes, and there's a reason."

"What's the reason?"

"I want to adopt."

We're all silent.

She wants to adopt another kid?

I shut my eyes for a moment. "How old and what's the gender?"

She's silent for a long time. "Before I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't freak out."

I don't promise her.

"Well…" she takes a deep breath. "She's soft of your half-sister. She's two."

How is she my half-sister when she's-

"Hell no!" I shout when I connect the pieces. "I do _not_ want a kid in this house that is linked to _Ethan_!"

"Mom!" Prim protests.

Mom sighs. "They put her up for adoption. He won't even know we have her."

"This is going to just hurt the kid in the long run. She's going to be a repeat of me."

"Not if he doesn't come back."

"He _will_ come back, Mom. It's a fucking pattern. He waits until I'm recovered and then comes back full force."

"Yes but I let him in those times and another thing. He has a restraining order against the three of us. When I adopt the girl, she will be mine and not his, and then I can get a restraining order."

"They can be _broken_." I hiss.

"And the cops will be called."

"This is just a bad idea." I mutter.

"How is it a bad idea?"

"He's going to find out that you have his daughter. He knows you have Prim and I! He's probably already looking for us! When he gets here and sees you have all three of us, he's going to be pissed. When he's pissed, he takes it out on me, not you or Prim. He takes it out on me."

"Well then if he shows up we'll have to get a way for you to protect yourself."

"It's like you don't even fucking care." I walk out of the room and she follows me.

"Katniss of course I care! We moved out of New York for you!"

"No, we moved out of New York-"

"I lied, okay? We had plenty of money! We moved because of him always going after you!"

"Well he's going to come back, Mom!" My voice cracks on her name and tears start pouring down my cheeks.

She sighs softly, and then runs her hand through her hair when she sees I'm crying. "I want a new kid."

"So you can replace Prim and I?" I shoot.

"No! I just want a new kid. I've always wanted three, and I can't have any more kids."

"Okay, well there's a ton of kids out there that aren't blood related. When she gets older she'll start asking questions, and then what? She wants to meet Ethan? He wants to see her? It's a terrible idea."

"Fine, I won't get her. I'll get someone else. Okay?"

"Fine."

...8...

An hour later, we're laying on my bed. We've been quiet for a while.

I sigh for what feels like the millionth time. Annie has fallen asleep with her head on my stomach. Johanna is sleeping with her head on Annie's stomach. Peeta and Finnick are using the pillows, and my head is on Peeta's stomach. Slowly, I feel his fingers begin running through my hair.

I'm exhausted, and before I know it, I've fallen asleep.

...5...

I hear soft laughter when I wake up. I shift all around. "You guys need to be quiet." I mumble.

"Why don't you look where your hand is, Kitty?" Finn teases. I force my eyes open to see that in my sleep, I've literally put my hand right on Peeta's dick, flat, and I've been rubbing it against him by moving all around. "Shit!" I sit up quickly, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment. "Dammit, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean to!"

Peeta laughs. "It's fine. You always seem to stress about small things."

I hear a knock on my door and then Haymitch walks in. "Scarlett's moving in with me." He says.

"She is?" I ask.

Again, I'm not happy about sharing my mother with anyone. I like sharing with siblings, but really, that's it.

"Yeah. We've actually packed up her stuff. So…bye."

"Bye."

He walks away.


	12. Chapter 12

I'm sure I'm going to be sick. I'm pacing the backstage. I go on in five minutes.

"Now let's welcome Peeta and Barley Mellark!"

Peeta looks at me. Prim is pacing beside me.

"Good luck." I say to Peeta and Barley.

"I'm so nervous."

"To sing?" I ask.

"No." he walks onto the stage with Barley. The whole school is here and so are the parents of the kids performing and some that aren't.

"Kat I don't know if I'm capable of doing this!" she gasps.

"You have to be! It's three hundred points!"

I hear the song for Peeta and Barley start, and I stop pacing to watch from backstage.

_So take one word, you said_

_You put it in your bed_

_You rest your tiny head on your pillow_

_You wonder where you're going next_

_You've got your hair pushed to my chest_

_And now you're hoping_

_That someone will let you in_

_Well, I swear I'll let you in_

_You know I'll let you in_

_Oh Kelsey, you_

Prim looks at me with wide eyes.

Kelsey? Who the fuck is Kelsey? I'll kill-

Oh fuck.

I'm Kelsey.

I break into a cold sweat and I begin pacing again. Prim has this huge grin on her face and her nerves are gone. "I knew it." She smirks.

I can hear people piecing the Kelsey is me together and people are shrieking and flipping shit and screaming 'it was her' and 'Kelsey is Katniss'.

_So don't let anyone scare you_

_You know that I'll protect you_

_Always, now through the thick and thin_

_Until the end_

_You better watch it_

_You know you don't cross it_

_Because, I'm always here for you_

_And I'll be here for you_

_I know, I know, I know_

_I know how it feels_

_Believe me, I've been there_

_And I know, I know, I know_

_I know what it feels like_

_Tell me, Kelsey_

He knows how it feels? Having a parent that wants you dead and hates you so much?

What the hell?

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_Oh you, darling_

_Now it's gonna get harder_

_And it's gonna burn brighter_

_And it's gonna feel tougher_

_Each and every day_

_So let me say, that I love you_

_You're all I've ever wanted_

_All I've ever dreamed of to come_

_And yes you did come_

_I want you so bad, can you feel it too?_

_You know I'm so, I'm so in love with you_

_I want you, so much_

_I need you, so much_

_I need your, I need your, your touch_

"Katniss!" Prim squeals.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Why? You wanted to tell everyone anyways, and you like him!"

"How does he expect me to go out on stage and sing now? He loves me?"

"He just said he loves you! Who cares if you fuck up!"

"I do!"

"You won't fuck up anyways!"

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

I'm about to start crying. I'm not upset about him liking me, I'm ecstatic, really.

_And you never, ever let me in_

Barley: _(Let me in)_

_And you never, ever let me in_

Barley: _(Let me in)_

_And you never, ever let me in_

Barley: _(Let me in)_

_And you never, ever let me in_

I don't even have a chance to say anything before I'm being forced out onto the stage to sing this song.

PEETA'S POV

I know she's going to kick my ass, but I don't care.

She needed to know, even if she doesn't feel the same. She needed to know I loved her, and I told everyone she's Kelsey instead of her doing it herself.

Barley is slapping me on the back. "She's gonna kill you but you did great!"

"You too." I say, punching his arm playfully.

KATNISS'S POV

There's so many people here. I see a little girl running to the center of the audience and waving at Prim and I crazily like she knows us. She has short brown hair that curls slightly at the tips. She must be only two years old. She has light brown eyes and a pink dress on and silver shoes.

I look at Prim in confusion, smile at her and wave back.

Then, I connect the pieces when I see Mom grab the little girls hand and smile at us before walking back to her seat next to Haymitch and Scarlett.

That's our little sister. I look back at Prim to see she's pieced together the pieces.

Prim taps my shoulder. "Ready?" she asks, moving to the drums. I move the microphone stand to the center of the stage and grab the acoustic electric guitar.

It's plugged in and ready to go.

I look at Prim and nod my head. She nods back, and then at the same time, we start playing, me singing too.

_Could've been a small town_

_And when the rain would fall down_

_I'd just stare out my window_

_Dreaming of what could be_

_And if I'd end up happy_

_I would pray_

Prim: _(I would pray)_

_Trying hard to reach out_

_But when I tried to speak out_

_Felt like no one could hear me_

_Wanted to belong here_

_But something felt so wrong here_

_So I prayed I could break away_

They know. They all know it's about Ethan. Mom and Haymitch and Scarlett know. The whole audience knows.

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly_

_I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky_

_And I'll make a wish_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway_

_Out of the darkness and into the sun_

_But I won't forget all the ones that I love_

_I'll take a risk_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway_

_Wanna feel the warm breeze_

_Sleep under a palm tree_

_Feel the rush of the ocean_

_Get onboard a fast train_

_Travel on a jet plane, far away _

Prim: (_I will)_

_And breakaway_

Everyone is cheering and I feel my confidence rise. I take a deep breath.

_Buildings with a hundred floors_

_Swinging around revolving doors_

_Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but_

_Gotta keep moving on, moving on_

_Fly away, breakaway_

_I'll spread my wings_

_And I'll learn how to fly_

_Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye_

_I gotta take a risk_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway_

_Out of the darkness and into the sun_

_But I won't forget the place I come from_

_I gotta take a risk_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway_

_So take one word, you said_

_You put it in your bed_

_You rest your tiny head on your pillow_

_You wonder where you're going next_

_You've got your hair pushed to my chest_

_And now you're hoping_

_That someone will let you in_

_Well, I swear I'll let you in_

_You know I'll let you in_

_Oh Kelsey, you_

Prim looks at me with wide eyes.

Kelsey? Who the fuck is Kelsey? I'll kill-

Oh fuck.

I'm Kelsey.

I break into a cold sweat and I begin pacing again. Prim has this huge grin on her face and her nerves are gone. "I knew it." She smirks.

I can hear the people that are piecing that Kelsey is me together shrieking and flipping shit and screaming 'it was her' and 'Kelsey is Katniss'.

_So don't let anyone scare you_

_You know that I'll protect you_

_Always, now through the thick and thin_

_Until the end_

_You better watch it_

_You know you don't cross it_

_Because, I'm always here for you_

_And I'll be here for you_

_I know, I know, I know_

_I know how it feels_

_Believe me, I've been there_

_And I know, I know, I know_

_I know what it feels like_

_Tell me, Kelsey_

He knows how it feels? Having a parent that wants you dead and hates you so much?

What the hell?

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_Oh you, darling_

_Now it's gonna get harder_

_And it's gonna burn brighter_

_And it's gonna feel tougher_

_Each and every day_

_So let me say, that I love you_

_You're all I've ever wanted_

_All I've ever dreamed of to come_

_And yes you did come_

_I want you so bad, can you feel it too?_

_You know I'm so, I'm so in love with you_

_I want you, so much_

_I need you, so much_

_I need your, I need your, your touch_

"Katniss!" Prim squeals.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Why? You wanted to tell everyone anyways, and you like him!"

"How does he expect me to go out on stage and sing now? He loves me?"

"He just said he loves you! Who cares if you fuck up!"

"I do!"

"You won't fuck up anyways!"

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you_

_The ocean for you_

_Whoa, Kelsey_

I'm about to start crying. I'm not upset about him liking me, I'm ecstatic, really.

_And you may never, ever let me in _

_(Let me in)_

_And you may never, ever let me in_

_(Let me in)_

_And you may never, ever let me in_

_(Let me in)_

_And you may never, ever let me in_

I don't even have a chance to say anything before I'm being forced out onto the stage to sing this song.

PEETA'S POV

I know she's going to kick my ass, but I don't care.

She needed to know, even if she doesn't feel the same. She needed to know I loved her, and I told everyone she's Kelsey instead of her doing it herself.

Barley is slapping me on the back. "She's gonna kill you but you did great!"

"You too." I say, punching his arm playfully.

KATNISS'S POV

There's so many people here. I see a little girl running to the center of the audience and waving at Prim and I crazily like she knows us. She has short brown hair that curls slightly at the tips. She must be only two years old. She has light brown eyes and a pink dress on and silver shoes.

I look at Prim in confusion, smile at her and wave back.

Then, I connect the pieces when I see Mom grab the little girls hand and smile at us before walking back to her seat next to Haymitch and Scarlett.

That's our little sister. I look back at Prim to see she's pieced together the pieces.

Prim taps my shoulder. "Ready?" she asks, moving to the drums. I move the microphone stand to the center of the stage and grab the acoustic electric guitar.

It's plugged in and ready to go.

I look at Prim and nod my head. She nods back, and then at the same time, we start playing, me singing too.

_Could've been a small town_

_And when the rain would fall down_

_I'd just stare out my window_

_Dreaming of what could be_

_And if I'd end up happy_

_I would pray _

Prim: _(I would pray)_

_Trying hard to reach out_

_But when I tried to speak out_

_Felt like no one could hear me_

_Wanted to belong here_

_But something felt so wrong here_

_So I prayed I could break away_

They know. They all know it's about Ethan. Mom and Haymitch and Scarlett know. The whole audience knows. When the screams of the crowd get louder as Prim and I put more emotion into the song, I feel my nervousness vanish, and I look back at my little sister to see she looks the same.

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly_

_I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky_

_And I'll make a wish_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway_

_Out of the darkness and into the sun_

_But I won't forget all the ones that I love_

_I'll take a risk_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway_

_Wanna feel the warm breeze_

_Sleep under a palm tree_

_Feel the rush of the ocean_

_Get onboard a fast train_

_Travel on a jet plane, far away _

Prim: _(I will)_

_And breakaway_

Mom rushes to the front of the audience with a video camera. "They're my daughters!" she announces proudly to the woman standing beside her.

I smile.

_Buildings with a hundred floors_

_Swinging around revolving doors_

_Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but_

_Gotta keep moving on, moving on_

_Fly away, breakaway_

_I'll spread my wings_

_And I'll learn how to fly_

_Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye_

_I gotta take a risk_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway_

_Out of the darkness and into the sun_

_But I won't forget the place I come from_

_I gotta take a risk_

_Take a chance_

_Make a change_

_And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway_

Everyone is screaming and Mom is bouncing up and down. They did that for Peeta, too, but everyone was too shocked to be like how they are now. Cinna jogs out beside me and throws his arm around my shoulder. "Are you alright?" he whispers in my ear. I nod vigorously. He takes the microphone off the stand. "Well that concludes our show for tonight." He says.

"They're my daughters!" Mom shouts. Cinna looks at my Mom and then me. Everyone heard her, and they're laughing.

Damn her. My face begins to heat up and I look down at the floor. Cinna shuts the microphone off and turns to me. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure." I reply. He walks away and I follow him. He takes me to where nobody is, and I normally would be creeped out, but I trust Cinna.

"I'm sorry about your father." He says.

"It's alright. I'm still going strong, so…" I shrug.

"Well, have a good night, Katniss."

I walk alone to the lunchroom because everyone has already left. They're having snacks there.

When I walk in, I get stares of pity, which doesn't really bother me, although I hate pity. I walk over to my mother who is holding my little sisters hand and chatting with Mrs. Mellark.

"Katniss honey!" Mom gives me a hug. "You did just wonderful!"

"Thank you."

"Hi sissy." A soft voice hits my ears. I look down at my little sister.

"Oh, Katniss, this is your little sister, Rose Lynne Everdeen."

I kneel down in front of my little sister. "Hi." I smile. "How old are you honey?"

"I'm this much!" she holds up six fingers, and Mom pushes down four, leaving me with two. She lets go of Mom's hand. "I like to have candy!" she giggles. "And ice cream makes me happy! I love this color!" she points to the pink on her dress. "I like that pink too!" she bounces on her toes as she points to the pink on the skirt of my dress. It's a tank top dress, with a pink skirt and a very light tan tank top part. There is a tan belt where the tan part and the pink part meets. She looks down at the bracelet on my wrist and begins to play with it. It can easily be adjusted.

"Do you want it?" I ask.

"Want what?" she giggles and I smile.

"The bracelet."

"I can?" she asks.

I laugh. "Of course you can." I struggle to get it off with one hand. Peeta squats down beside me.

After hesitating for a moment, I hold my wrist out.

"Can you take this off for me, please?" I ask.

He looks at me, and he looks really nervous. "Okay." He takes the bracelet in his hand and every time his hand brushes against the inside of my wrist, I feel a spark that feels spontaneous run up my arm. He unhooks the bracelet and places it in my waiting hand.

"Thanks." I mumble.

"No problem." He smiles easily.

"When are you guys going to just admit you like each other?" Johanna asks loudly, gaining the attention of Peeta's family and my own, and a few people passing us.

"Here, let me see your wrist." I say. Rose holds her wrist out and I put the bracelet on her, adjusted to her size.

"What do you say Rosie?" Mom asks.

"Thank you sissy!" she giggles.

"You're very welcome." I smile and stand up.

"Are you going to admit your feelings?" Johanna asks again, "Because I really think you guys need to make out. You guys have feelings for each other and you're not doing anything about it." She crosses her arms, and everyone is watching us hopefully.

How do I approach this conversation? It's my turn, so I need to do something.

I'm not good with my feelings, obviously. Everyone is staring at _me_ waiting for _me_ to do something, anything.

I look at a poster on the wall. It's in blond print.

Bold, I need to be bold.

I shut my eyes for a second. "Come on Brainless." Johanna coaxes.

I turn to Peeta. He's flipping out. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his jeans. He searches my eyes for a long time.

What do I do?

_Bold, you have to be bold!_

Hesitantly, I tangle my fingers in his hair.

"She's going to kiss him!" Someone whispers.

Peeta's eyes dart from the person that said it, to my lips and to my eyes.

Slowly, I lean forward so my lips are a hairline from his. "I've been wanting to tell you for a while…I have a really big crush on you. It could be more than just a crush, but I'm not sure yet."

It was so quiet that I can see in his eyes that he's trying to figure out what to say. His hands have left his pockets and landed lightly on my hips.

I close the distance between our lips, my eyes closing when our skin makes contact.

It's short and sweet, but it's amazing feeling and means so much more. Everyone is cheering and shouting 'finally!'.

I pull away slowly and release him.

"Be my girlfriend?" he asks.

I bite my lip and fiddle with a lock of my hair. "Okay." I look back at him and bite my lip.

"She said yes!" Rye shouts. "My brothers dating a babe!" He grabs my hips and lifts me up onto his shoulders.

"Rye!" Mr. Mellark scolds. "Put her down!" Rye does,

"About damn time!" Prim says. "God, she could talk about you for hours about how much she-"

"You should shut up now." I say.

"How much she what?" Peeta smirks.

"It doesn't actually matter." I mutter.

"Oh yes it does." Prim says.

"No, because-"

"About how much she likes you." Prim finishes her earlier sentence.

"Aww, how _sweet_." Peeta teases.

I smack his arm lightly. "Be quiet."

He feigns pain. "That really hurt." He says.

I roll my eyes. "How about we go out to dinner?" Mom asks, picking Rose up. Rose squirms around in her arms and reaches for me desperately, struggling to get out of my mother's grip. I grab her under the armpits and hold her on my hip.

"That sounds wonderful!" Mrs. Mellark says.

Johanna, Annie and Finn agree to come with my family and Peeta's.

"I want to be with my sissys!" Rose says.

Mom looks at me. "You'll be okay with her?"

"Of course." I say.

"Okay. Let's go."

"Wait, I need to stop by Cinna's room to get my school stuff and I need to go to my locker and I _really_ need to pee."

"Okay, I'll just put her car seat on the hood of your car."

"Okay." I say. I look at my friends. "I'll see you guys there?"

"Hell yeah you will!" Johanna says.

"I'll be at the car." Prim walks away. I hug Johanna, Annie, Finn and Peeta goodbye.

"Katniss, to the Carrabba's on Richmond?" she asks.

"Okay." I nod. Then I hesitate. "Isn't that expensive?"

"Don't worry about that."

"Mom-"

"I told you we were fine on money." She reminds me. "Okay?"

I let out a long breath. "Alright,"

"Let's go sissy!" Rose says.

"Alright." I set her on her feet and take her hand and lead her to Cinna's room. He's in there, shuffling through papers on his desk.

"Hi Katniss." He smiles and looks down at Rose and smiles wider. "Who's this?"

"I'm Rose! I'm this much!" she holds up two fingers like how mom showed her. "This is my sissy!"

He smiles even wider. "Katniss, I didn't know that you had two little sisters."

"Oh, I didn't until today. Mom just adopted her." I release Rose's hand and grab my bag.

"Oh, that's adorable." He smiles.

"Yeah." I smile back and take Rose's hand again. "Have a nice weekend, Cinna."

"You too, Katniss." He smiles.

I walk out with Rose next to me. She releases my hand and skips in front of me. I watch her as I walk to my locker, and then I make her stand beside me so I can get all of my books and everything I need from my locker. She's singing about ghosts and scary things. Some people are walking through the halls, and they smile when they see her. I take her into the bathroom and I go pee. She stays in the stall with me.

"I need to go to the potty." She says.

Is she potty trained. "Okay, come here." I say. I've already flushed and I dry off my hands. I lift up her dress to see she does indeed wear panties.

She is potty trained at two years old.

Wow, that's impressive.

I lift her onto the toilet and hold her as she pees, and I help her wipe, and I pull up her panties and adjust her dress, and then I hold her at the sink and help her wash her hands.

"Ready to go?" I ask.

"Yes!" she giggles. I take her hand and sling my bag over my shoulder and head outside with her walking at my side. She runs right out into the street.

I drop my bag and run for her when a car comes speeding towards her and I grab her arm and yank her backwards as the carbullets past where she just stood.

"Hey!" I scold. "You never walk across the street alone!"

"I'm sorry!" she starts to cry.

I sigh. "You need to hold my hand, okay?"

"Okay." She shoves her thumb into her mouth.

Both families are still there, and they just saw me make her cry, and Mom isn't angry about it, she's just upset because Rose walked into the street. I pick her up and retrieve my bag. She keeps crying and telling me she's sorry. Mom takes her from my arms.

I sit down on the hood of my car. Peeta walks over to me and sits down. "I was so nervous." He admits softly. I look at him. "God, I thought you were going to hate me and never speak to me again. I didn't expect you to um..."

I kiss him softly on his lips for a moment. "To do that?" I whisper.

"Yeah, that." He laughs softly and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "And I really didn't expect you to be my girlfriend after all of this."

"Well..." I rest my head on his shoulder. "I guess you expected wrong."

"I suppose I did." He rests his head on top of mine and threads his right hand through my left.

"Peeta?" I whisper after we are both quiet for a few moments.

"Hmm?"

"What did you mean by saying 'believe me I've been there?'"

"Oh...that..." He sighs. "Can I tell you when there aren't so many ears?"

I nod my head against his shoulder.

"Of course." I smile.


	13. Chapter 13

**Yes I purposely changed the first line of Breakaway on purpose. **

I'm home for all of five minutes when I get a text from Peeta.

I just parted from him outside.

Peeta: _hey..._

Me: _hey :)_

Peeta: _um...I know I just saw you but I already miss you_

Me: _yeah_…

Peeta: _…can you come outside?_

Me: _I can't :( it's after curfew_

My curfew is ten and it's nearing eleven.

Peeta: _oh...right._

Me: _sorry :/_

Peeta: _it's okay :) _

Me: _I'm going to go take a shower. Want me to text you when I get out?_

Peeta: _okay :)_

I toss my phone on my bed and walk into the bathroom. I strip down and take a hot bath and then a shower, and then I pull on one of my mothers t-shirts without a bra, a pair of panties and nothing else.

I crawl into bed and text Peeta.

Me_: hey _

Peeta: _can I call you?_

Me: _of course_

I press answer when he starts calling.

"Hey." I say.

"Hi." He mumbles.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing...I'm just exhausted." He sighs.

"Why don't you just go to bed?" I ask.

"Because I'd rather talk to you."

I laugh softly. "Your a completely different person."

"That's because I can say what I want to say and I don't have to watch it because your my girlfriend."

I laugh again. "Yeah, I suppose. I need to tell you something though. You won't get upset, right?"

"That depends." He frowns.

"Well..." I take a deep breath. "I don't know if I love you...I know that I have strong feelings that I don't understand...and if you tell me you love me and I don't say it back..."

"Kat, that's the least of my worries. I understand, okay?"

"So your not upset?"

"Not at all. I'll wait forever for you. But I want you to understand that in going to tell you that I love you. You don't have to say it back of course, but I want it to be engraved in your skull that I love you."

I yawn. "You're so sweet."

"Yeah..." He sighs.

"Peeta, I hate to say it but I'm exhausted and I really want to go to bed."

"That's okay. I'll come see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." I smile.

"Okay...bye. I love you..."

I feel a spark ignite in me that he just said that to me.

"Uh..."

I hear him chuckle on the other line. "Goodnight, Katniss."

"Night..." I hang up.

Mom comes into my room with Rosie.

"Katniss, she wants to sleep with you." She says.

"Okay." I smile. She had a bath. Her hair is wet. She's wearing a princess nightgown and her thumb is in her mouth. Mom lies her down next to me. I plug my phone in to charge.

Mom kisses both if our heads and walks out of the room, shutting the light off before she shuts the door.

Rose rests her head on my belly.

"Night sissy." She mumbles.

"Night Rosie." I kiss her head and drift off.

...9...

I feel my bed sink down next to me. Rose is gone.

"Hey." Soft fingers stroke my cheek. "Kat, wake up."

Peeta?

Is it Peeta. "Hmm?" I mumble, rolling over. Somehow, I manage to roll my head right over the crotch of his jeans. I'm so exhausted that I don't really notice.

I exhale slowly. "What?"

He laughs. "I told you I was going to come over. It's Halloween." He says.

I remind myself I don't have any pants on. I sit up and stare at him, hardly even awake at all.

"It's early."

"I know." He frowns. "It's nine."

I let out a loud groan. "I would be illegal to be up until noon."

"Well, I work in a bakery and I'm used to getting up at four thirty every morning." He calmly reminds me.

"I don't even have any pants on." I whine.

"You don't?" I see his eyes widen slightly and dart downward and back to my eyes.

"I normally sleep in my underwear." I whisper. "It's just like a bathing suit anyways." I stand up and stretch. "I'll be back." I go into the bathroom and take a shower, brush my teeth, dry my hair and leave it down, and then I wrap myself in a towel and walk into my closet without looking at Peeta.

I pull on a pair of panties and a push-up, and then a pair of light blue and white striped short shorts, a white tank top that's loose and a denim jacket. I toss my towel in the hamper and walk out of the closet and sit down beside Peeta.

"I have a question to answer." He says as I tuck my feet underneath me.

"Okay, go ahead."

"When I said 'believe me, I've been there' I meant it. My Mom left when I turned four and Dad remarried. My step-mom jumped on every chance to beat me till I bled. She broke bones and made me lie to Dad and say I fell in school or something. Dad left her when he found out and then he got married to Mom again. He didn't marry her again until a week before you moved in."

I stare at him for a while. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. You of all people understand."

"Yeah." I smile. He sighs.

"Let's do something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Let's go somewhere. Not as a date...just to go."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Let's go..." He frown. "Let's go to Los Angeles."

I thought he meant to go somewhere in Malibu. I didn't think he actually meant to drive an hour from here.

"I've never been there before."

"Me either." He grins.

"You've lived here all this time and you've never been to LA? I find that hard to believe."

"Well you live in New York. Have you ever been to-"

"New York City? That's where I grew up."

"Oh..." He bites his lip. "Come on! Let's go to LA!"

"Well then we need to be back by five."

"Why? Let's go to Halloween Horror Night! I'm going there tonight with Finnick, Johanna and Annie. We keep forgetting to ask you."

"I don't know if I'll be allowed."

"Well then I'll ask for you." He stands up.

"Peeta!" I chase after him. He's out of the laundry room when I grab his hands.

"What?" He whispers. "Do you not want to go?"

"I want to but..."

"But what?" He asks.

"I don't know."

"Well then I'm asking her, okay?"

"Okay." I breathe. He kisses my cheek.

I follow him to the living room. "Peeta you do know it's not even eleven yet and your already over?" Prim asks.

"I know." He says.

"How on earth did my manage to get her up and showered and dressed before noon on a weekend?" Mom asks.

"I just told her to get up and she did."

Prim snorts and shoves a mouthful of cereal in her mouth and then with her mouth full she says, "That's because she's already in love with you." She looks at me and smirks, and then swallows. "She's just too stupid to figure it out."

Peeta rubs the back of his neck.

"Which is unfortunate because you already love her and she won't say it back."

"Prim eat your food and be quiet." I hiss.

She laughs. "Since when are you my Mom?"

"I may not be your Mom but I can still kick your ass."

"Which you won't." Peeta says as my mother opens her mouth. He looks at me. "You won't."

"Oh, I won't? I really want to."

"Well you won't." He says. "Have you ever put her in the hospital?"

I bite my lip. "Three times. Twice because I broke her arm and once because I cracked her head open."

"Well Rye broke my arm three times and if he does it again he's off to prison."

"Which is the same for you, or are you forgetting?" Mom asks.

"I don't care! It's worth-"

"No it's not." Peeta says.

I hate the fact that he stays completely calm and his voice level doesn't change. It pisses me off.

"Well I think it is."

"Well your not going to jail. I won't allow it. Even though your seventeen, your going to go to prison."

"They have better food."

"I'm done talking about this." He says. I grit my teeth.

"Me too."

"Mrs. Everdeen." He says suddenly. "Can I steal Katniss for the day? We want to go to LA and then tonight to Halloween Horror Night."

Mom is silent for a moment. "What time will you be back?"

"It'll be late, probably one in the morning."

I know what she's thinking.

It being dark and all, she thinks we're gonna pull over and fuck.

"I don't know..." She lets out a breath and stares at me. "That's well after your curfew."

"Finnick, Johanna and Annie are coming with us." I blurt.

I see her shoulders relax slightly. "Alright, you can go. But...there's a catch."

"I'm not taking Prim."

Prim is actually really pissed right now that I'm going and she isn't.

"You have to check in when you get there, when you get to Halloween Horror Night and when your getting in the car to come home. If you don't, I'm taking your car for a month and your phone and you won't go anywhere but home and school, okay?"

"Okay!" I run downstairs to get ready.

...9...

Finn, Jo and Ann are coming with us. After begging and pleading and giving money on Peeta's half, Rye let him use his mustang.

"Wait, one more thing before I give you the keys." Rye says.

"Come on man! I have you fifty dollars!"

"I want Katniss to kiss my cheek."

"Hell no. Let's go, we're taking my car." I dig my keys from my bag and walk away.

"Wait." Peeta grabs my hand. "It can't be that bad. It's just his cheek."

"I don't want to kiss him." I whisper.

"It's his cheek." He pleads.

"Fine. I'll show you what he can do. Go kiss my cheek."

He start to kiss my cheek and I turn my head quickly and make our lips connect. I hear Rye bark out a laugh. That's exactly what he was going to do.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to, okay?"

"Okay." I let out a long breath.

But I will. I walk over to Rye and quickly kiss his cheek.

He stares at me for a long time. "What the fuck what that?"

"You said if I kiss your cheek you would let us use your car."

"Well I changed my mind!" He throws the twenty bucks at Peeta and then walks in the house and slams the door.

"What'd I do?" I ask.

"He's an ass." Peeta picks his money up off of the floor.

"I don't want to take a boring car!" Finn groans.

"I think I can get us a fun car." I pull out my phone and call Haymitch.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Hey...could you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"We I'm going to LA..."

"With your boyfriend?" He guesses.

"Yes and Finn, Jo and Ann."

"And?" He presses.

"And we don't have cars with a top that goes down..."

"So you want one?" He asks.

"Yes. Can I borrow your car."

"Can you wait an hour?"

I take a deep breath. "I suppose so."

"Then okay."

...9...

Haymitch comes speeding down the street in a hot ass white Ford Mustang Convertible V6.

"Oh hot damn I love your uncle." Johanna breaths when he pulls up into the driveway and gets out of the car with Scarlett.

"Let me see your car keys." He says. I toss them to him. He unlocks my car and takes everything in it and moves it to the convertible.

Then, he takes off my car keys and puts in the Convertible.

"Here." He hands me the keys. "It's all yours."

I stare at him.

"You're kidding." I guess.

"Nope. New car. Scarlett gets your old one."

"That's because she's the favorite." Scarlett sneers.

Haymitch doesn't say a word against it. "There you go, sweetheart."

"Like I said, the favorite." She shakes her head.

Whatever, I don't particularly like her anyways. "Can I talk to you five? Alone?" Haymitch asks.

Scarlett snorts, takes my old car keys from his hand, gets in my old car and speeds away.

Mom walks outside. She frowns. "I thought you guys got Rye's car?"

"He wouldn't give it to us." Peeta sighs.

"Who's car is that?" She looks over my shoulder.

"Mine." I say.

"What?" She walks all the way out of the house. "Haymitch!" She says. "This isn't necessary."

"I don't care." He turns to the five of us. "Who does Scarlett hang out with at school?"

I look at Peeta, Finn, Jo and Ann. "The druggies." I bite my lip.

"And you didn't think of telling me?" He asks.

I shrug. "She kind of hates us."

"Yeah, I know. She keeps calling you a bitch. And white trash and a skank and a whore." He says, to me directly. "And a boyfriend stealer. She's got a thing for you. Now she's even more pissed because you guys are dating. She insists that she's dated you." He looks at Peeta.

The four of them are silent for a while. "Well that sucks for her."

"Yeah she's pissed because I told her to stop being an ass."

"Serves her right." I mutter.

I'll make sure to give her hell.

**I'm not really going to go into the trip to LA. Sorry...**


	14. Chapter 14

**I feel like it's time for Katniss to have a breakdown.**

Today is _not_ my day.

I hate Mondays. I stopped for food on the way with Prim and I dropped my fucking coffee in the parking lot. Not to mention I got a ticket, so Mom is going to kick my ass. My phone charger didn't work, so it's dead. People won't stop talking about Peeta and I, and they all stare at me.

I haven't seen anyone aside from my family since Saturday because yesterday I went out and got a job at Barnes and Noble. When the person realize that it was me trying to get a job they gave it to me immediately because I wrote that story.

So yes, I woke up, got pulled over, I spilt my coffee, my phones dead, and I miss my friends. I have a terrible feeling that my Dad is going to show up soon.

Last time I had that feeling, I was right.

And of _course_ someone, Scarlett, spills her water all over my jeans and then laughs loudly. "Oops!"

Bitch.

I am so close to crying.

I walk over to an empty table, throw my bag down and drop my head onto my arms.

I repeat, today is _not_ my day.

"Kitty Kat." Finn plops down next to me. "What the fuck's up?" I say nothing. "Hey!" he shoves me and I fall right off the bench. "Oh shit." He pulls me to my feet. "What's all over you? Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"Yes you are." He wipes my cheek and I feel tears smear.

Fuck me. His eyes dart over my shoulder. "Peeta's coming. He's gonna obsess when he sees your crying."

"I know he is." I wipe my cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he asks again.

"Nothing." I lie.

"No, something's wrong. You're _crying_."

"You're crying?" Peeta steps in front of me and I see his eyes widen and his eyebrows furrow. "What's wrong? What happened? What's all over you? God, what happened?"

"Well I got pulled over this morning, I spilt my coffee, my phone isn';t charging and of course, little bitch had to spill her water all over me."

"You got pulled over?"

"Yes, and that means I'm grounded."

"There's something else, isn't there? Is it about your Dad?" Peeta asks.

A _lot_ of people look at me. And my a lot, I mean more than half of the lunch room. Then everyone goes silent, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from falling at his feet and crying my eyes out.

"I'm scared." I whisper, hardly audible. Peeta and Finn are listening intently, concern in their eyes. "I feel like he's coming for me. Last time I felt that, I was right."

I bite my cheek harder, until I feel blood.

God, I'm gonna cry.

I don't like crying.

They've never seen me cry.

I mean, technically, Peeta did, but that was only red cheeks.

They're never actually seen me have a breakdown and just sit there and sob into my hands until I pass out.

Annie and Jo join us.

God, please don't let me cry in front of them like this.

I grab my bag and run. They chase after me, even when I'm in my car.

I don't know where I'm going, but when I'm out from of my house I realize I don't want to go home. I plug my phone in on the car charger and speed off again.

…a…

It's just too much recently.

I lost them a while ago. I know they're still following me.

It's all become too much. There's so much family stuff going on and I'm so scared of my Dad and I'm just not happy anymore.

Before I know it, I'm driving up the steep hill to my Grandmother's house.

And I find myself slamming on the breaks.

_My Grandmother's house is in Maine_.

I've been gone for a week? I drove to Maine?

Whatever.

I flip on the stereo.

"Again, we are still looking for Katniss Everdeen."

That's the first thing I hear.

I drive the rest of the way up the hill and pull into my Grandmother's driveway.

_What am I doing here? What brought me here?_

I get out and walk up to the door and ring the bell.

All my life, I've wanted a father. I've wanted my biological to care about me. To hold me when I cry and scold me when I do bad things.

I've wanted him to care about me.

And when he opens the door, I feel terror run through me.

God brought me here, right? That means soething good is going to happen?

I back up, and almost walk right off the porch to the mountain side to my death, and when I lose my balance, he grabs my hand.

His grip isn't mean and cruel like normal, it's gentle. "Katniss." He says. "You must have your Mother sick with worry."


	15. Chapter 15

"Did you kill her?" I blurt.

He steadies me on my feet and looks me up and down. "Who?"

"Grandma." I cross my arms protectively across my chest.

"My own mother? No."

"Ethan, no more girls! I told you that a hundred-oh dear, Katniss!" Grandma walks out onto the porch. "Get inside." She orders. "You've officially lost it."

"I lost it a long time ago. I never really got it, actually."

She pulls me into the house. "Go take a hot bath."

I look at my father. "No."

I don't want to be naked in the same state at him, let alone the same house.

"He's not like that anymore." Grandma says.

"Whatever, I'm leaving."

"No, I'm calling your mother." She grabs the house phone.

"Mom's gonna kill me."

"You're damn right she's gonna kill you! You're a fuck up!" Dad shouts. He punches me in the stomach with all his mite and punches me in the face.

Oh dear god please help me!

"That's the last strike! Get out!" Grandma shoves him out the door and locks it. "There, he's gone. Go and take a bath, okay?"

I swallow the lump in my throat, my hands shaking. "Okay."

….a….

She made me warm cookies with milk and some soup, and I'm wearing some old clothes of my mothers. "I miss your mother." She admits. My entire face and stomach is bruised.

Soe tears glide down my cheeks. "Me too."

She pulls up a chair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She doesn't know to a full extent what Ethan did to me.

I start from the beginning, and she listens intently as I voice my story for the first time to anyone.

She's silent for a long time. "I'm so sorry." She whispers. "How about you stay the night here, and the tomorrow you and I take you home, okay?"

"I don't know if I'm ready to go home."

"Oh sweetie, the way you talk about that boy and your little sisters and your mother, I know you're more than ready. It's time darling."

"I guess so…" I sniff.

It was late when I got here and it's even later now.

I clean up my mess and let her take me to bed and tuck me in.

I'm so overtired, that when she shuts the door and flicks the light off, I fall right asleep.

….a….

It's five in the morning on Sunday when I get home. Grandma has a gentle hand on my arm. I'm standing on my porch staring at the shut door.

There's a light on in every single room in my house and in Peeta's.

Slowly, I open the door and step into the house. I told her to take credit for finding me. She puts her hand on my arm and walks into the living room.

I'm surprised when I find that Haymitch is here with Scarlett, and so are Peeta, Jo, Ann, and Finn.

"Oh thank god!" Mom engulfs me in a hug, trying not to cry.

She releases me and hugs my Grandma.

Peeta doesn't hesitate to be next to hug me. "I'm not the happiest with you right now, but I'll put that behind me." He wraps me in a giant hug. I hug him back, and it's a long hug, that lasts probably more than five minutes.

He releases me and holds me at arm's length, and when I see the tears in his eyes, I feel like a bitch and I get the urge to run.

I did this. I put all of the through this pain.

_This_ is why Mom is crying. _This_ is why Peeta and Finn and Annie are crying. _This_ is why my sisters are crying. _This _is why Johanna and Haymitch look upset.

_I_ am the reason.

"Katniss." Mom says. "I want your phone. I want your computer; I want the remote to your TV. I want your keys and I want the speeding ticket. You're grounded."

"That's a bit unnecessary, don't you think?" Grandma asks. "I mean…it's about time the girl had a breakdown. She's only been through hell and back with her father. That fact that she was running from him without realizing she was running to him…" she sighs. "Hence the bruise."

"What bruise?" Peeta asks. Grandma gets water from the kitchen and washes the makeup off of my face.

Mom's eyes go from upset and relieved to absolutely livid. He always tried to avoid places so Mom wouldn't see, and now that she sees, she's pissed.

She calls the cops.

Grandma lifts my shirt up to reveal the bruise on my stomach. Peeta looks like he's about to cry. He still has those glistened tears.

Finn hides his face in his hands.

"I was supposed to protect you." He runs his fingers along the dark purple bruise on my cheek that has been swelling. "I have failed."

"No you didn't. This is my fault."

"No it isn't."

"Peeta, yes it is."

"Oh god, I'm so sorry." He whispers. I hug him and he hugs me back.

"It's not your fault. It's okay Peeta."

"No it's not." He whispers.

"Well I'm not upset about it."

I don't like showing the bruise and I resist the urge to cover my face.

"Katniss," Mom says. "I'm sending you to rehab."

I actually start laughing.

And then I realize that she's serious.

"Why?"

"Because there's too much going on right now and I want you to be happy. Feeling scared every time you think of Ethan is not happiness. Need I remind you how you tried to kill yourself when you were fifteen?"

"But I'm fine." I frown.

"Well, I'm sending you."


	16. Chapter 16

I fucking hate everything.

I've been stuck in this goddamn rehab facility for three long ass months. I can't use the phone and I haven't seen anyone I know, not even my mother. I've been keeping up with my schoolwork. I have a project in music with Peeta, Prim and Barley. We're doing the song Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts.

It's January and I haven't seen them since October. The concert is on February 14th.

I've practiced that song a billion times and the parts that I'm doing.

If I get out of here.

...8...

It's February thirteenth.

I hear a knock on my door and then my doctor walks in.

Just another unneeded therapy session.

I cross my arms in annoyance and sit back.

"Hello." He says.

"Hi." I grumble.

"You never seem to be getting better." He frowns.

"I'm perfectly happy. I was happy out of here."

"I'm starting to believe you." He sits down and eyes me for a long time. Then he says, "I want you to make a list of everything you miss and want. Write down the key to your happiness." He slides me a paper and pen.

_1 – I want to go home. _

_2 – Mom_

_3 – Prim_

_4 – Rosie_

_5 – PEETA_

_6 – Jo_

_7 – Ann_

_8 – Finn_

_9 – Books_

_10 – I want to go to school_

_11 – Freedom_

_12 – My clothes_

_13 – My bed_

_14 – My library_

_15 – My room_

_16 – Driving with my car_

_17 – Music _

I decide to put this one as a joke.

_18 – Sex with Peeta_

I slide the paper to him and sit back. I haven't had a good laugh in a long time. As a matter of fact, I haven't smiled, either.

He nods as he reads it, and when he gets to the last one, his eyes widen. "Who's Peeta?"

"My boyfriend."

"Ah yes. I didn't realize you'd had sex with him."

I smirk. "It was a joke."

"Oh." He frowns. "Well Katniss…all of these things require you going home aside from the car and reading, correct?"

"Yes." I cross my legs like how my Mama taught me.

"Well." He digs in his pocket. Then, he slides my cell phone and my wallet and my keys across the table. "Go."

"Go home?" I sit up, my heart lifting to my throat as a wild grin spreads across my lips. "Really?"

"Yes. You have to check in once a week for a month. And tell me when you get home."

"Okay!"

I don't hesitate to stand up, grab my stuff, sign the discharge papers and walk out of the door.

I need to get home in time for the show tomorrow. That's my goal.

I can't drive all the way to California from Florida in less than a day. It's six at night right now.

I don't want to call my Mom because I really want to surprise them.

I unlock my car. After being in that damn room for so long, I can't sit in the car all this time enclosed in. I'm freaking claustrophobic now. I put the top down and get in and sit.

I stare for a long time at my phone.

And then, after having an internal argument with myself, I call Haymitch.

"Katniss?" he asks.

"Katniss?" my mom repeats in the background. My heart warms at the sound of familiar voices.

"Barley, we need to practice!" Peeta says in the background.

"Shhh!" I hiss. "Don't tell anyone I'm here."

"Uncle, did you just say Katniss?" Prim asks. I can hear the hope in her tone.

"Katniss?" Rosie asks. "IS THAT SISSY! I MISS HER LET ME TALK TO HER!"

"it's not her." He says.

"Of COURSE NOT!" I can hear Prim start crying. "YOU HAD TO SEND HER OFF AND NOW I'M NEVER GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN!"

I hear a door slam, and then another. "Katniss." Haymitch says. "How'd you get on the phone?"

"I got discharged."

"Really?"

"Yes. I kind of need a way home."

"I'll get you a plane flight. It'll be private and it won't get there till six tomorrow morning. For tonight you can stay at a hotel-" he cuts off.

"Haymitch who's on the phone?" Mom asks.

"It's Scarlett." He lies.

"Why'd you say Katniss then?"

"Because she was being a bitch about someone and I knew who it was." He says.

"Alright." I hear her sigh. Then a door shuts again.

"I won't tell anyone. Go to the hotel nearest to you and book a place. I'll pay for it. Tomorrow get to the airport. The guy's gonna take your car. Don't stress. It's a twelve hour flight and you leave at six tomorrow morning."

"Okay."

"Before you go…things are insane here. Everyone's gone mad with you. Peeta's all sad. He's stayed faithful to you the whole time and he's all sad and Prim and Rose cry all the time."

"Don't tell them. I'll make up for it. How's Mom?"

"He regrets sending you off and she misses you like crazy. She cleans every dust particle in your room."

I smile. "I'm coming home." I whisper.

"I know." I can hear a smile in his voice.

"IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" Prim shouts, hysterical in the background.

"I have to go. I've been living here. Scarlett left and it's really a long story so just come home." He hangs up.

…..a…..

I slept a while at the hotel and then I went and walked the beach because being inside any longer is killing me.

And I realize how much I missed everyone.

And I realized that I love Peeta.

Now it's seven and I'm sitting on the plane with my knees against my chest, practicing _Life is a Highway_.

I'm bored to death, and I start crying because I miss everyone so much. It's only a few tears because I remind myself I'm going to be home in their arms soon.

….a….

"God!" I honk the horn. It's six thirty. I called Cinna and he was ecstatic to hear from me. We're on stage for the concert in a half hour and I'm stuck in the terrible traffic. I'm right around the corner from the school.

When the time gets down to ten minutes, I pull in the parking lot of the grocery store next to me. I took a shower before I left for the airpot and I have really bad jet-lag but I'll live. I don't have time to change to perform, so I grab my bag with my phone, wallet and keys and bullet across the traffic and run as fast as I can.

_Five minutes_.

The light changes green.

_One minute_.

Is turns red and I run as fast as I can. Cinna says that everyone won't stop talking about me and how everyone is acting sad and all and how they're going to be really happy, especially my sisters and Peeta.

_No minutes_!

I hear loud noises down the very long hallway.

I run for the life of my and into the back door of the stage and toss my bag on the floor..

Cinna's there, giving me water quickly to cool me down. "You ran here?"

"Traffic." I explain. He puts a headset on me.

To hear all of them singing together makes me want to cry with happiness.

"The goal is to get them out of their seats." He peeks out of the curtain as he struggles with the electric guitar that I need.

They're one verse from my part of the song. Prim is doing my parts and hers.

I hear the click in my microphone telling me it's on.

And my parts almost here. Cinna waves for me to sing without going onto the stage.

I hear the music get softer and I can hear Prim start the first letter of my part, but I cut her off.

_There was a distance between you and I (You and I)_

I hear shrieks around the auditorium and Prim, Peeta and Barleys gasp in their microphone and then someone shouts my name.

_A misunderstanding once_

_But now we look it in the eye_

My guitar solo starts in two seconds. I'm backing towards the stage.

_Ooooo...Yeah!_

Cinna hands the guitar to me and a pick.

Prim's crying when I walk out to the stage and start the fifteen second solo.

And then people start screaming, and everyone is gaping at me.

They go to the original plan.

Peeta and I:

_There ain't no load that I can't hold_

_Road so rough this I know_

_I'll be there when the light comes in_

_Just tell 'em we're survivors_

People get up and start dancing. Jo, Finn and Annie started it, flipping the fuck out and doing some pathetic dance. I bite my lip to hold back laughter

_Life is a highway_

_I wanna ride it all night long (All night long)_

_If you're going my way (Gimme gimme gimme, gimme gimme gimme yeah)_

_I wanna drive it all night long_

_Ohhhh ohhh yeah_

_If you're going my way_

_I wanna drive it all night long_

_I wanna ride it all night long_

_If you're going my way_

_I wanna drive it all night long_

I start and finish another solo, and then Prim and Barley finish the last part in sync.

Prim and Barley finish the last part.

_Gimme gimme gimme gimme yeah_

I take the guitar off and set it on the stand.

Prim's a bloody mess. She's on her knees on the floor, sobbing into her hands. I can't tell if she's happy or not. I kneel down in front of her and take off the headset. "Hey." I nudge her. "Hey, stop crying. You're gonna make me cry."

"I t-t-thought you l-left me f-f-or good!" she sobs. I pull her into a hug and let her cry into my shoulder. It's multiple minutes with everyone still flipping out over our performance before Prim jerks back suddenly. "Are you going back? Do you have to go back? Don't go back!"

"I'm not going back. I didn't have to be there in the first place. They finally let me go."

She hugs me again. It's another few minutes before she calms enough to let go of me and stand up. "I'm so happy your back!" she hugs me again. "you look tired. Are you tired?"

"I've been on a plane for twelve hours."

"Hey!" Barley taps my shoulder impatiently. "Give me a hug! She's not the only one that missed you, you know!" I hug him, and he whispers. "Peeta's nearly lost his damn mind." He releases me.

He's standing about ten feet away, watching me, his hands shoved in his pockets. It's like he's staring at my ghost and he can't actually believe it's me.

"Hey." I walk over to him. "You gonna give me a hug?"

"God." He wraps my in a bone crushing hug. I can hardly breathe but I don't complain. I just wrap my arms deathly tight around him and hug him back. "I've, missed you so much. Are you here to stay?"

"Yes. I'm done."

He makes a choking sound and pulls back. "I've missed you so much." He whispers.

"I've missed you too." I hug him again, and lean up and whisper. "I need to tell you something later. When we're alone."

He looks into my eyes. "Is this good?" he looks fearful.

"Yes."

"YOU FUCKING HOG!" Johanna shouts. "Get the fuck outta the way!"

Peeta laughs and steps back. Johanna hugs me, and then Annie. Finn makes a point of lifting me off of the ground.

I feel a tiny hand tugging on my own. I look down, startled. "Sissy! Upppy!" Rosie begs. I pick her up and hug her. "I miss you sissy!"

"I've missed you too, Rosie." I kiss her cheek.

I feel a gentle, familiar touch on my arm. I set down Rosie and turn around. "I was about to come and get you." Mom whispers, pulling me into a hug. I hug her back. "They're discharged me. I just have to check in-"

"Don't because they can't come and get you if I tell them no." She releases me and kisses my cheek. "Okay?"

"Okay."

Haymitch hugs me, and Scarlett just stands off to the side filing her nails.

What a bitch.

So I ignore her. "Are you hungry?" Mom asks.

"Hey!" I feel a hand spin me around and come face to face with Rye. "You'll be my damn sister one day I bet, and I don't even get a hello."

"Hi."

"I mean a legit hello!" he hugs me. I hug him back, and then I hug Graham, and even his parents.

"Let's get out of here." Peeta says. "Let's go."

"I need to get my car.

"Where's your car?" he asks.

"Publix."

"Is that why you are all sweaty?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you're all sweaty and your heart is racing."

"Oh yeah I ran here." I run my hands over my eyes.

"Let's go." Mom says. "Do you want to go out to dinner or order in?"

"I want to go home."

"Let's order in." Mom says. She looks at the Mellark's. "You guys are more than welcome to join us."

"Oh, we don't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be intruding." She smiles.

"Alright, I guess we can do that."

"I'm riding with you." Prim says, grabbing my hand.

"If you feel like walking."

"You don't have your car?"

"It's down the street."

"Oh…" she frowns. "You can pick me up."

"Wait, they have cookies in the auditorium. Do you guys want to do that?" Mom asks.

"No." Prim says.

"Yeah, the cookies here are like bricks." I agree with my sister.

"Are we leaving?" Scarlett asks. She apparently left, but she's here, so what's going on. "Oh what am I saying? Hey Dad I'm moving to Europe."

Haymitch looks at her. "Okay."

"At least I don't have to be near her." She looks at me in disgust. I roll my eyes. "She's such a whore." She says to nobody but herself. Then she looks at me again. "I was sort of hoping you were dead."

"Well I'm not." I'm not going to fight her even though the thought of killing her is really tempting.

"Sucks," she says.

I don't answer her.

"Um, you should really shut up." Prim says.

"Excuse me?" She sneers.

"Well you're being really mean and-"

"Do you think I give a fuck?"

Prim opens her mouth and Johanna steps in. "Whore, you better shut your goddamn mouth before I cut that damn tongue out. We all know you don't give a fuck. You don't give a fuck about anything but the fact that you need a damn vibrator to keep a smile on that face of yours. Say another word and I'll kill you." Jo takes a step towards her.

Scarlett purses her lips and stalks away.

I look at Haymitch, expecting him to be upset, but he shocks me by slinging his arm over my shoulder and kissing my cheek. "Biologically, you three aren't mine." He lifts Rosie onto his shoulders and slings his other arm over Prim's shoulders. "But you might as well be." We walk backstage. I grab my bag off of the floor. Everyone follows me. "I mean…I've known all of you, most of you, since before you were born. "Rose, you're still pretty young. Scarlett…" he sighs. "She's driving me crazy."

"That makes two of us." I mutter.

We turn down the really long hall. "Katniss did you get something out of rehab at all?" Mom asks.

"Uh…does claustrophobia count?" I ask.

"You're claustrophobic?" Peeta asks.

"I hate being in rooms for a long time without windows and a locked door."

"That's what you did?" she asks.

I nod. "With white walls and nothing to do, alone, it was hell. I actually got out once, at like five in the morning. I was hotwiring my car and I almost had it when the bastard caught me. I feel like I need to get away, you know?"

"Well you have a long hallway with a lot of windows." Prim points out.

"True, but there's nothing fun to do."

"Sure there is!" Johanna starts doing cartwheels down the hall, and Annie follows, and then Prim, and after hesitating, I join.

We walk out of the doors in the cafeteria.

"We're going to your car, right?" Prim asks. I take my bag from mom, who picked it up.

"Right." I smile.

"Well let's go." She says.

We run the mile and jaywalk across the street, which is still backed up.

I unlock my car, and, instead of using the busy road, I take the long way, and still manage to pull into the driveway before it's too late. I pull into the driveway, and Prim helps me bring my luggage into the house. Peeta volunteers to take everything downstairs, and I follow him.

I fall face first on my bed and just lay there for a good ten minutes.

...9...

After dinner, we all sit around the living room. An argument broke out and in the end, Rosie was in my lap, Prim was leaning on my right and I was leaning on Peeta's left.

Someone rings the doorbell and nobody moves. I move Rosie and walk to the front door and rip it open.

Fuck!

I slam it shut again. "Mom!" I shout, panicked, rushing into the living room.

"What's wrong?" She pauses the movie. I look over my shoulder again.

"It's Ethan."

**If I don't update tomorrow or later this week it's because I got my computer taken away because I'm sneaking it right now when I'm supposed to be in bed. I just **_**really**_** wanted to post this.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**-KatPeeta23**


	17. Chapter 17

"Ethan?" She repeats. I start nodding like crazy.

He rings the doorbell again. Mom stands up and walks over to the door and rips it open.

"What do you want."

"May I come in?" He asks.

"No."

"Well can I see my children?"

"No."

"They're mine too, Lillian."

I open the door so he can see me.

"We don't want to see you."

"I'm getting there." He says suddenly. Then he laughs.

He's insane. "I'm trying Kitten."

He hasn't called me Kitten since I was three years old. I sit remember, but that's what Mom said.

I don't let myself get hopeful.

All my life, I've wanted a Dad that cared.

"Trying what?" I ask. It's raining outside for the first time in probably forever, and he's soaked.

I know Mom's thinking about letting him in the house.

"Give me a second chance." He says.

Mom thinks people can change. "Ethan..." She sighs.

"Please? I can change." He says.

"Are you fucking kidding? You can't change! Your a fucking asshole!"

I'm making him mad.

"I am not." He hisses.

"Yes you are! This is like your fifth chance! People can change, but you can't! Your heartless! You can't change!"

"I am not heartless." He whispers. "I'm getting better. I promise."

"Whatever. Your getting there, and your not there yet. Don't bug me. Leave me alone."

"Why do you hate me so much? I'm your father! You shouldn't be talking to be this way!"

I normally cower in fear when it comes to him, but I guess Dr. Aurelius wasn't good for nothing.

I can defend myself now.

"Are you kidding? Did you forget how you've looked for every change to kill me since I was like four years old? How you nearly raped me when I was fourteen?"

"I saved you from commuting suicide at Grandmas house." He crosses his arms.

"What?" Mom asks.

"I was not committing suicide! I was backing up to get away from you! I wasn't expecting to see you!"

"No, she tried to commit suicide." Ethan looks at Mom.

"No I didn't!" I'm about to start crying.

"Yes she did! And I did not try to rape you! That's a lie! I've never laid a hand on you! I'm nothing but nice to you!"

"BULLSHIT!" I shout.

"Okay honey, how about you go lay down?" Mom says. She doesn't want me to make him mad, but he's staying calm. By now he'd probably have killed me.

"You've laid too many hands on me! You've tried to kill me! You tried to rape me! You are everything but nice to me!" I'm practically screaming at him.

"How many times have I hit Prim?"

"Never." I grit my teeth.

"Well I've never hit you, either."

"Bull. Shit." I have angry tears streaming down my cheeks now.

"Can someone come and get her before she has a breakdown please!" Mom says.

"You look for every opportunity to hurt me!" I snarl.

"Lillian." Haymitch says. "She needs to let this out. Let her have a breakdown. Let him see what he does to her. Maybe he'll realize how much of a dick he is. She needs to say this to him."

Mom says nothing.

"I've never hurt you."

"Yes you have. Your an inconsiderate asshole. If anyone deserved to burn to ash in hell, it's you." I sniff.

"That's not very nice." He frowns.

"All my life I've wanted to be like every other kid and have two parents that cared for me. I've wanted parents that love me and want me around them and care if I fail and parents that tucked me in when I was a kid and held me when I cried and calmed me down during a thunderstorm. I've wanted a father that would threaten my boyfriend with everything he has and scare him a shitless. My our my father and you will NEVER be that guy, because you don't love me. I was just a charity case to you, that's all. You wouldn't open your eyes and see how much you damaged me. Mom took over for you because you were too much if a little ass to do it yourself. You have three kids and one if them is left without her real parents. You've shattered our family and every time we glue the pieces back together, you show up again!"

"You are not a charity case." He says.

"Bull shit."

"Bull nothing!"

"Your so goddamn stupid! You can't even admit your mistakes like a real man!"

"I've never made a mistake before."

Which means he doesn't consider nearly killing me multiple times a mistake.

I start crying, really crying. "I fucking hate you w-with everything I have, and when I'm older and I have kids of my own, I'll make s-sure to be everything you weren't!" I pull Mom back and slam the door in his face.

"Katni-" I run downstairs to my room, fall on my bed and just cry, blocking out my mother.

I hear Haymitch tell everyone that I need to be alone to cry it out, and that I'll come out when I'm ready."

...8...

It's hours later, after I've cried myself to sleep that I finally drag myself out of bed.

I take a really long ice cold, and then boiling hot shower and then cold again, and then I dress in a tank top and a pair of black spandex. I go upstairs where everyone still is.

I hate him.

Was that rude of me to say to my own father?

I really want to be with Peeta, and since he's technically mine, I could sit in his lap.

Nobody brings up earlier. I slowly walk over to Peeta and point to his lap, silently asking for permission. He reaches up for me. I curl into a ball and bury my head in his shoulder.

I'm so tired. I can't seem to get enough sleep.

"Was I mean?" I whisper.

"No. I think that you'll feel much better now that you said that."

"I took a video of that." Haymitch says.

"Why?"

"I sent it to Dr. Aurelius."

I groan. "Why?"

"I think he had a right to see that. Don't you feel better? You've had that bubbled up inside for years."

"I don't think it actually matters. He probably won't remember it."

"I think he's going to remember it." Prim mumbles.

"What makes you say-"

"I think he's changing."

"Are you kidding?" I laugh. "You can get your hopes up again, but if you let him in the house in leaving. I'm the only one that gets affected by him. I'm not letting it happen again."

"Think about it!" Prim sits up, ready to argue. "You almost fell off that cliff and he saved you! He normally wouldn't care if you died or not-"

"Yes, and then he proceeded to hit me-"

"And today you were literally screaming at him and he just took it in! He didn't hit you at all! He used to not even let you say a word! Katniss, I think he's changing."

"He's. Not. Changing." I grit my teeth.

"Whatever. I think he's changing."

"Katniss, to be fair, she kind if does have a valid point." Peeta mumbles. I look at him in outrage.

"She doesn't!"

"She does! Think about it! You were just screaming at him and he didn't even do anything!"

"Because Mom was standing right there! Here's stupid, but he isn't that stupid! Even when we were kids, I counted the seconds till Mom came home because I knew I was safe. She'll kill him if she sees him lay a hand on any of us."

"She doesn't have any we-"

"Oh please! That's what she's wanting you to think! She has a handgun in her side table. The drawer that's locked? Yeah, there's a handgun and a shitload of ammo."

Mom looks like she's seems a ghost.

"How on earth did you find out about that?" She asks. I shrug.

"I'm observant. And I kind of suspected it anyways."

"Why's it locked? What if someone comes and tries to hurt one if us when your bit home and only Katniss is? She can't fight for the life of her."

"Yes I can." I mumble.

"No you can't. You don't have any weapons anyways. What if he's right at the door?"

"Can I tell you guys something I'm not even supposed to be thinking about?"

"What?" Johanna asks.

"Well in rehab my doctor soft of taught me how to kill people."

Silence.

More silence.

"What?" Mom asks.

"Apparently I have too much of a temper that's untamable. So...he said I needed to let me anger out. An hour later I was throwing knives."

"Bull." Prim says.

"Really!" I insist.

"Oh my god. I cannot believe this." Mom isn't happy.

"Don't get him in trouble. He broke every rule and risked his job. Pretending to kill people was the only thing I looked forward to."

"I don't believe you." Johanna says. "You can't kill someone if it came down to it."

Peeta snorts. "I disagree. She keeps in inside but she's got a lot of anger and I think she would if it came down to it."

"Did you at least get something productive out of it?" Claustrophobia and throwing a knifes don't count."

"He taught me how to have a photographic memory." I frown.

"So you could answer that really hard problem we had on the economics test. You got those, right?" Johanna asks.

"Yes."

"Awesome. Do I have to write it down or not?"

"Just say it."

"I don't think she can do it." Finn grins.

"Which has more value - 1 pound of $20 gold coins or half a-"

"The forty because your getting double the amount."

"I didn't even finish the question." She says. "But you were right. Bitch."

...8...

I'm nervous for today. I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I walk in the door to the school and I duck my head when everyone drifts into silence.

I feel so sick to my stomach. The people that normally jump on the chance to say hi to me don't say a word.

That's because in the crazy girl that went to rehab because of her insane father.

I swallow nervously. "Whys it all quiet?" I hear Johanna ask. Peeta whips around.

"Oh." He says. I don't want over to them, I just fidget with the hem of my shirt.

I know I'll be damaging their high school life by hanging out with them.

"What a freak." I hear someone hiss. "Peeta's too good for her. He should be mine." She adds. Then she says loudly. "He's too hot to be hers. She doesn't deserve him. He should be mine. She's not cute and he's fucking sexy."

It's true. It's all true. God, it's true.

I feel his finger lift my eyes up to meet his.

"I mean, I'm definitely better looking than her."

His eyes flick over my shoulder. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Even if I wasn't with Katniss, I still wouldn't want you because your just rude."

She lets out a huff of anger. "You guys aren't even serious! Why don't you just leave her? She's not-"

"Because I love her." He narrows his eyes and I can see the beautiful blue color fading and black appearing. "I don't want to leave her. You don't even know what your talking about. We're pretty damn serious."

"Well I doubt you've had sex."

His eyes go even darker, all the way to black now. I see his jaw flex.

"Peeta." I warn quietly. "You need to calm down."

"I don't want to calm down!" He says loudly, pissed. "It's not right the things he says about you and I'm not going to just stand here and let her! You can't tell me what to do-" he cuts off suddenly and I see his eyes widen. "God, I'm sorry." He begins to panic. "I'm sorry. That was mean. You can tell me to do whatever you want and I'll do it, I swear."

"I'm not even upset." I frown.

"Well I'm really having a bad day because-"

"Let's talk outside."

He sighs irritably, then he grabs his backpack and my hand and walks out. I struggle to keep up with him.

He turns to me. "Let's ditch today."

"Please? I have hardly seen you in months. You said you were going to tell me something and you never did. I just want to be alone with you." He pleads.

"But everyone knows. Prim will know and so will Barley."

"They won't rat us out. I skipped multiple times when you were gone because I hated going to school because I didn't get to see your beautiful smile every day."

"But everyone saw us. They'll know we're skipping. The teachers will overhear, they'll call our parents, we'll get grounded. Everyone will know."

"It's worth getting grounded."

"Not really."

"Please? I mean...never mind. I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do."

"Okay well I'm staying at school."

"Okay." He sighs. "Don't listen to that girl, okay? Please? I love you."

I want to tell him I love him but this isn't the place, so I just kiss his cheek and walk back into the building.

I have a new schedule and in pleased to see I still have Peeta in the same classes. We don't have creative writing anymore. We have guitar with Cinna.

He smiles when he sees me and sits me next to Peeta. We are given a piece of sheet music and told to get a guitar, then we practice the song the whole period.

Near the end, Cinna gets the attention if the class. "How many of you are seniors in here?"

More than half of the class raises their hand. "Great. Now...how many if you are thinking of pursuing a music career?" No hands raise. "How many of you have no idea what your doing after graduation."

Every hand, even the people who aren't seniors raise.

"Well I have applications to Juilliard here. Raise your hand if you want one."

I can't decide between music and writing, but as if right now, I'm thinking music. I love to write but it's more for my own ventilation.

I raise my hand at the same time as Peeta. He's thinking business or music but he doesn't know.

"I'm just going to give all of you one." he passes them out.

The bell rings and we head to second period.

...8...

I have four different college application sitting in front if me that I collected in first through fourth periods. In sitting at the lunch table, reading the Juilliard requirements.

They're not being specific. I sigh harshly and run my fingers through my hair. Peeta sits down next to me. He doesn't say anything for a minute. "What are you doing?" He asks.

"Trying to figure out what I need to go here."

"To go where?" Jo asks.

"Juilliard." I reply.

"Oh." she frowns and grabs a business one. "You want this?"

"Not really."

"Sweet." She digs a pen from her bag and begins filling it out.

I fill out the Juilliard one. The tuition fee is really expensive but I have a lot of money saved up, like, mom knows the amount but it's a whole lot.

"I don't know where I am going to go. I love music but I also love cooking and I want to open a bakery."

"I don't know whether to do writing or music, but I was thinking that I do music and I enjoy performing, while with writing, I'd rather keep it a secret. I doubt I'll get accepted but I thought I'd at least try it just for the hell if it."

"Let's all do a Juilliard one. That college is so damn hard to get into, so let's just do it."

Peeta takes my extra copy. "Can I borrow this?"

"Uh sure. Why?"

"Because Juilliard is where Rye and Graham want to go. They didn't go to college."

I nod my head in understanding. "You do whatever."

...88...

"Juilliard?" Mom repeats. She frowns. "I can see that."

Haymitch is here and something is making me suspicious.

"I think you should send this." Haymitch says. All my teachers wrote me letters of recommendation, and my boss at Barnes and Nobles. I didn't get fired from there and I woke after school today.

"I'm going to." I say.

And I do. I send the application to there and to New York University and hit the sac.

It's not like I'm going to get accepted anyways.

**I'm going to end this soon and start a squeal to this story. I know I said I'm going to do You're Mine, and I am, but honestly I haven't got any ideas for it. Bear with e please. I'm getting there.**


	18. Chapter 18

**This is the last chapter. I'm not going to do a graduation because I've done it in multiple other stories. **

Exams are getting nearer and nearer and people are studying harder. I have straight A's and seniors are sending out tons of applications.

School lets out in a month and exams are in a week. After that week, seniors are done with school. They have graduation and that's it.

We're all silent at the lunch table today as the reality hits us.

"I know we're all thinking it." I blurt. Peeta got an acceptance letter to CU, California University. He's studying business and music. Johanna is going to HU, Hawaii University, Annie is going to FSU, Florida State University and Finnick is going to UF, University of Florida.

As for me...we don't know.

"I don't want to talk about it." Peeta shifts his head on his bag.

I feel a light tap on my shoulder and turn around to see the Principle. "Your mother just dropped this off."

He hands me an envelope and walks away.

"Mail? She couldn't wait?" I ask.

I stare at the Address.

60 Lincoln Center Plaza, New York, NY 10023

"Where's it from?"

"New York."

Center Plaza.

I know for a fact that is the street that Juilliard is on.

I hold it up to the light and see a the word Juilliard and then Katniss Joy Everdeen.

"I can't open this." I push it away from me.

"It's from Juilliard?" Annie asks. I nod.

"Open it!" Peeta insists.

I hold my breath.

"KATNISS IS THAT FROM JULLIARD?" Prim shouts from across the cafeteria, walking over to read over my shoulder.

It takes every ounce of my willpower to open the envelope.

"Whatever's inside..." Peeta begins. "It's for the best."

I nod my head, grit my teeth and unfold the piece if paper.

Dear Katniss Hou Everdeen.

We are very pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Juilliard, school of music.

I don't even read the rest. "Oh god."

My head spins and I feel like I'm going to pass out.

"Well?" The girl next to me asks.

Peeta reads aloud so everyone with their noisy has ears can hear him.

"Dear, Katnss Joy Everdeen.

We are very pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Juilliard, school of music."

I think in going to die.

"You got accepted!" Prim smacks my back multiple times. "Now I can have your room!"

I roll my eyes. Should I go?

I think i'm going to go.

...9...

I cry that night. I know Peeta and I are going to break up. Four heads is a long ass time to be away from someone.

I'm going to drift from Johanna and Annie and Finnick and Peeta.

I feel like the walls are crashing in on my left and the sun is shining on my right. I'm ecstatic about Juilliard but my whole life is going to be gone...

It's five at night and I think I'm going to be sick.

I make a group message to the four of them.

Me: _S.O.S._

Within the time frame of twenty minutes, the four of them are sitting on my bed, watching me pace and then get sick in the bathroom, brush my teeth and then pace again.

"I don't want to lose you guys."

"You-" Peeta begins.

"Don't tell me I won't!" I shout. "It's inevitable! With you two in Florida, you here and you in Hawaii, it's bound to happen!" I point at them as I say where I'm going. "Oh and me in New York, god, four years is a long time. I'll be working during the summers and I know you guys will be, too. We won't see each other. I don't make friend. If it wasn't for you guys I would still be sitting alone. I wouldn't be happy. I don't want to lose you guys!"

"Well, let's do this." Peeta says. "We make sure to stay in contact. If we don't, we'll make time and visits. We obviously won't see each other, but...we'll figure something out, okay? Then, after we graduate, we visit. We rejoin. We tell all the stories, all the people we've slept with-" he narrows his eyes at me. "Which better be nobody on your behalf."

"Yours too," I sniff.

"And we all get Skypes and iPads for FaceTime. We won't lose contact. We have to do one text a day no matter how angry we get with each other. Remember all the fights are inevitable and every time we get upset, we remind ourselves that every second brings us back together. No matter what happens, we stay strong."

"I have an idea." Johanna blurts.

"What?" I sniff.

"Let's get a tattoo, one that symbols all of us. Like...Fishy's is a surfboard, Crazy's is a smile, Bread boys is a loaf of bread or something and yours can be a music note. We put it on our wrists to remind us."

That's a wonderful idea.

"Let's do it."

**OKAY THATS IT! **

**I'm going to do the sequel.**


End file.
